Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Trespassers!

Well, I stopped by to drop off a few things and check the mail,
and I discovered that some folks had been TRESPASSING!
I need to get a mean dog. I have a dog we adopted from the
Humane Society as a puppy. Our free dog cost us about $150.

I don't want a hyper, snippy little dog. Our daycare lady, Vicki,
had a Boston Terrier. He was so ugly he was cute. But he was
so hyper, he didn't know what was good for him. The daycare
was in a little cottage behind her house. She didn't take the
dog there. His name was Bostie (yeah, well, maybe she had
some issues with originality, but who wouldn't after watching
10 kids under 5 all day?). So, she would let Bostie out every
morning to do his business before she reported for duty at
the cottage.

We were usually the first ones there. I climbed out of the large
SUV one morning to hear a woman scream in agony. No, it
wasn't Vicki. It was Bostie. Did you know that a Boston Terrier
puppy will scream like a woman if you step on it? Yeah, me
neither. He didn't seem to be crippled, because he could still
run around the yard in a frenzy. My kids thought it was funny.
Sometimes now, my #1 son will scream like a woman and say,
"Hey, Mom? Remember Bostie?" And that was 4 years ago.

You're welcome for the free story. I've got to head back to
civilization for a Halloween dance at the middle school. You
haven't lived until you've been a chaperone at a middle school
Halloween dance. Oh, the drama! Don't hate me because I'm
living the life you wish you could live. Hate me because I'm a
hateful b****. Just so we are clear on things.

6 Comments:

Blogger Lessa said...

*Bwahahahahaha* I have a son in middle school - no WAY am I gonna go and chaperone a dance there. Nu uh. No way jose. I'd end up smacking me a few girls who keep turning down my boy for dances. Little tarts! Harumph!

5:51 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

HI Hillbilly Mom,
I'll hate you if you like. :-)
HooRoo
Bec

2:04 AM  
Blogger MrsCoach2U said...

My mom has 4, oh no, 3 Boston's now and they are HYPER! And yeah, I knew they screamed like girls when hurt. That's what makes Christmas at Mom's so much fun!

9:55 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Well, it ain't middle school, but I get to chaperone a Jr. High/High School Girls Scouts Costume Dance on the 31st. Considering how but bitchiness shoots from the 8th grade girls towards the 9th and 10th grade girls, I expect much eye rolling and sighing.
I plan on od'ing on candy corn.

3:26 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

That was supposed to say "how MUCH bitchiness". Oops.

3:27 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Lessa,
At our dance, the boys wouldn't ask the girls to dance. They grabbed another guy by the elbow, pretended to square dance, and flung each other into the wall. I think it was some kind of middle school mating ritual. We had plenty of little tarts on hand, though.

Bec,
How kind of you to offer. I thought that ravishing photo for my billboard, and that audioblog of my hillbilly voice smoothed things over! Shall we rekindle the ol' feud now, or take a break for a while? Be careful how you answer...I still have time to return your Christmas gift.

Mrs.
Now I am having a trauma. I imagine a houseful of people and Bosties, the people stomping on them and the Bosties screaming like women...pissed off, dying women. Please! Make it stop!

Kim,
I know all about the 8th grade eye roll. In my career, I've had three 8th grade girls take a STRONG dislike to me. My retaliation is to be extra-nice to them, yet give them the stink-eye when they least expect it. This keeps them off balance and maintains the appearance of ME being in control. It's a high-wire act, this teaching business.

5:43 PM  

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