Saturday, July 08, 2006

Pizza University

CiCi's Pizza needs to school its employees. Just as McDonald's
has Hamburger University, CiCi's needs Pizza University.

I know that CiCi's pizza is not tasty. That is not the issue. I expect
crust like cardboard, an English-muffin-sized spot in the middle
with sauce, and a baby-handful of toppings. And unless it's that
spinach-cheese thingy, beware of the pizza. It'll hurt your eyes.
It'll hurt your eyes looking for the cheese. OK, so I stole that
joke from the worst-acted movie of all time, True Grit, the one
John Wayne won his Oscar for. Only in that movie, it was an
old bum who told Glen Campbell that the Chicken & Dumplings
would hurt his eyes, looking for the chicken. But I'm not here to
reminisce about one of my favorite movies...today.

For a Saturday night, CiCi's was operating smoothly. It's not that
the employees were not doing their work. They were doing what
they thought was a good job. They greeted the customers, and
shouted, "See-see you later!" when they left. They gave their
names, they asked if you needed anything, they put out the pizza,
they wiped salad dressing and fallen items off the counters,
they swept up the floor, they cleared away empty plates...all
without being intrusive. They did not sit at a table drinking soda,
as I saw them do a while back. They did not shout and joke
with each other while ignoring the customers. I think the oldest
worker there was 20. They seemed to be doing their very best.
The very best they knew how to do.

A Pizza University could change all that. A few special courses,
and that ol' CiCi's Pizza could become a delightful culinary
destination. Hey! It could happen! Here are the course offerings
I suggest for Pizza University:

Sauce Goes All the Way to the Edge
Eureka! We Have Found the Cheese!
Slicing Means All the Way Through the Crust
Noodles Are For Draining
Croutons Want a Spoon
Salad Days: When I Wilt and My Edges Turn Brown, Retire Me
Caesar Is More Than Just Romaine
Lettuce Should Be Smaller Than a 10-Inch Tortilla
Wet Plates the Customer Hates

Just some suggestions, CiCi's. I know I'm expecting a lot for my
all-I-can-eat $4.49. At least the kids who work there are polite
and seem to take the job seriously. Think what they could do if
somebody told them how to do it right.

Hillbilly Mom. Food Critic. Changing the world one fast-food
outlet at a time.

5 Comments:

Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

You know it is a good restaurant when they ask you, "Do you want fries with that?" then, they have stepped up a mark in the world :)

5:05 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Cazzie,
Seems we have been going to the same type of fine dining establishments.

12:13 AM  
Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

I've never had the problems you mentioned when dining at CiCi's... although their soda fountain seems to be perpetually broken. Perhaps that's the price I must pay for cheap, (mostly) edible pizza.

8:52 AM  
Blogger MrsCoach2U said...

Our local Pizza Hut thinks it's genius to have 2 employees on duty during the lunch hour buffet! You don't have to worry about over-eating at that one, it's usually 1 pizza split among all 50 diners!!!!

11:23 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Stew-ly,
Perhaps you frequent a better branch of CiCi's. I know how advanced y'all are in the state of Arkansas.

Mrs.,
We have a Chinese buffet like that. They are reluctant to bring out a new tub of food if there's a spoonful or two left in the one that's 2 hours old.

1:41 PM  

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