Tuesday, December 06, 2005

In Case I Haven't Told You...

People piss me off! I have been trying to hold it in, but it is that time
of year. I can't take it anymore. I am going to explode if I don't vent.

You! Kid that is whining, "I don't think I'll ever get this test done."
You are not supposed to bring tests in my class. You know that.
That's why you're not asking me for help. And don't think I don't
know that you've conned one of your teachers into letting you take
a test to a "special" teacher. We went round about this last year.
You do not have an IEP. You are not entitled to any special help
other than being in my class. Stop trying to con the system. And
you might just get done if you hadn't spent 15 minutes gossiping,
and now you want the other kids that have done their work to
grant you pristine silence. It ain't gonna happen. Get over it!

You! Kid who sat 40 minutes yesterday doing nothing but stare
into space while your cohort and I did some Algebra B! Don't
think you're pulling that again today, then say, "I don't have a
pencil" when I have time to attend to your neediness. And DO
NOT ever try to leave a dictionary on your desk again! I'm not
your mother, here to follow you around and clean up after you.
Maybe I do sound bitter. That's what you get for sitting behind
my desk taking staples that one time. Don't think I've forgotten.

Hey! Miss I'll-Spit-In-Your-Soda! Enough already. You've
threatened this enough times that I will not go back to McDonald's
until they fire you. You tell the students you'll spin in their sodas,
you tell the teachers, even the teachers who do not work in this
building, that you'll spit in their sodas. Just because your manager
told you the customer can press charges if you're caught, and you
said, "Oh, weeellll!" doesn't mean you're a badass. You are a
14-year-old McDonald's worker in a town of less than 2000
people. Get over yourself!

You! Mr. I-Went-On-A-Weeklong-Vacation! Sure, it's nice of
you to share what fun you had, and that you did a week's worth
of work in one hour. But maybe you'd better look over that work
again, because from what I see, you can not change fractions to
percents, and you can not tell which is greater: 27.09 or 27.71.
Just maybe you should have been in school, because I think you
missed something you might need every year until you get three
high school math credits.

Whoa! Little Miss I-Think-I-Can-Outsmart-You! You brought
nothing to class. You asked to go to the library to check out a
cheerleading book. When I asked to see your Social Studies paper,
you told me it was done, and I told you to show me. I became
suspicious when you came back from your locker and said you
couldn't find it. And that it might be in the hall, or in the S.S. class,
or just lost. And then your friend "found" it in her bag, and it wasn't
done. Oh, and when I asked to see your Science, you told me
that you didn't have any. But other students were doing theirs, so I
persisted. And then you said you used a homework pass. Excuse
me for doubting you. You brought me yesterday's work with a
homework pass stapled to it. But I insisted on today's. And you
told me your class watched Bill Nye, the Science Guy. And your
friends ratted you out that yes, there were also 15 questions. And
you said it was done. But when I asked to see it, you couldn't find it.
Then you went to sit by some other DO-NOTs while I was working
with 2 Science students. So when you came up to me, and said,
"Exactly what Science were you talking about?" don't take an attitude
with me because I said, "The one you just sat over there and did in
5 minutes."

YOU! Miss Never-Brings-Any-Work-And-Talks-All-Hour! It
is now 7th hour. Watch your step, girly, because I ain't playin'!
I'm not going to pretend you're a good little girl, just because
you're always respectful to me. Do NOT ask to help so-and-so
with "her work" when you can't even give me a subject, or tell
me that yours is done, AND that it's been checked and is right.
DO NOT DARE spend all hour "helping", then drag up your
Math with NOT ONE problem done, OR the graph, which we
went over in the first 15 minutes of class. We have now gone
through Language and Science, and I do not plan on a return
trip to Mathville. DO NOT act put-out that I grudgingly go
over only 5 problems with you. I only did it because it is my
job, girly, not because you have endeared yourself to me and
I want you to succeed. That desire ran out about 5 minutes
ago. Get in line tomorrow.

Is the moon full again?


Blogger Redneck Diva said...

OOhhhhhhhh I could SO do a post like this! In fact, I just might . . .

Good one, HM!

9:28 PM  
Blogger MrsCoach2U said...

Ummm.....so now would not be a good time to ask for a favor?

I'll just get in line tomorrow and take my chances. By the way, I have a client file I'm supposed to be working on, have you seen it? Maybe I laid it on your desk by the stapler!

9:21 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

I felt much better as soon as I was done.

DO NOT ask for favors!!! Hmm...the folder you laid down while you were sitting at my desk, shooting my staples out one by one into your hand, to flick at people later? No. Haven't seen it. And you couldn't have laid it by the stapler. It is kept in a small drawer, which makes the staple stealing a much more heinous crime, as the perpetrator had to get into my desk to get the stapler. Don't get me started again!

11:22 AM  
Blogger deadpanann said...

It's not full yet. About halfway there. I check it about once per week, usually when I've just had a day like the one you've just described.

6:02 PM  
Blogger jules said...

Damn, girl. Remind me not to spit in YOUR soda!

8:42 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Miss Ann,
I looked for it tonight. Well, around 6:30 if you can call that night. You are right, only halfway there. It must be the change in the weather making them act like they got an extra helping of crack.

Uh...I really shouldn't have to remind you of such things. I would report that little twit, but I'm afraid she would get fired and go two doors down to the SONIC and ruin my beloved Cherry Diet Coke.

9:54 PM  

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