Sunday, December 04, 2005

I Need

"But Hillbilly Mom," you say, "you are lovely, talented, wealthy,
and have a wonderful family. What could YOU possibly need?"
Don't worry. I'm not expecting y'all to get me a Christmas gift.

I need Nanny 911 and her naughty chair. Not for myself, silly!
For my misbehaving kids.

I need Kim and Aggie to come visit, in case anybody asks me:
"How Clean Is Your House?"

I need Rachael Ray to come to my house for lunch, so I can feed
her a grilled-cheese sandwich and say, "That'll be $40, sucker!"

I need to take a nap on Saturdays so I will quit falling asleep
before Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live.

I need to quit referring to low-talkers, re-gifters, man-hands,
Jimmy, Vandelay Industries, muffin stumps, Bubble Boy, Poppy,
Festivus, shrinkage, breathtaking, and hipster doofus. Not that
there's anything wrong with that.

I quit watching so much TV.


Blogger Mr Bates said...

You forgot mimbos!

9:02 AM  
Blogger Chickadee said...

LMAO!!!! OMG I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who refers to TV shows. You should hear some of the conversations my husband and I have at our house.

"AYE! Respect my authoratah!"

"Shut up and gimme some pah!"

We also do Jordan giggles from Bernie Mac, Hank Hill ahhhs, Dale Gribble gasps of fear and my gawd do we talk like we're Stargate travelers.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Northend Nique said...

Hehehehehe... Chickadee, "No kitty, that's my pah!" is a big one at our house. Plus, "Shishaw!" You gotta love Dale Gribble.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

"Whatevah, I'll do what I want"
is our Cartman quote.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

You can never quit talking about man hands, regifters and low talkers!! I come here specifically for the Seinfeld references!!

1:26 PM  
Blogger jules said...

And the kids at school probably look at you like you're insane when they don't get the references, don't they?

4:52 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Yeah, and I forgot man-purse, too.

Chick, Nique, & Kim,
I can't watch South Park, because I don't want my kids to see it.

So THAT'S the reason. I thought you were sniffing around for some free cheese.

The kids look at me like like I'm insane all the time. Even when I'm not talking. Go figure!

7:57 AM  
Blogger Northend Nique said...

I'm in complete agreeance with you there Momma... South Park doesn't come on here til 11:30 PM so we are safe from the chitlens watching. Although sometimes we have to be careful and not laugh so hard that we wake anyone up! My husband laughed so hard the other night and was really trying to be quiet and shot Pepsi out his nose. That, of course, sent me rolling, woke up the Queen, and now no more drinking while watching South Park!

9:40 AM  

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