Monday, February 13, 2006

DoNotDay 2-13-06

It was another DoNotDay in Hillmomba. In case I haven't mentioned
it before, people piss me off! Here are some of the day's DoNots.

DoNot...park in the the area marked "No Parking".
Who do you think you are, woman with a box of cupcakes? Do
you think the sign means "No Parking Unless You Are A Woman
Bringing Cupcakes To School"? Because that area where the kids
get dropped off at elementary is dangerous. The school has sent
home info, and painted a walkway, and posted signs about where
to drop students off, and where visitors should park. Yes, you
would have had to walk an extra 50 feet. But I think that is a small
sacrifice to ensure that a little kid doesn't get run over when you
are backing out of the "No Parking" zone.

DoNot...tell me that you said 'wed wibbon week' instead of 'red
ribbon week' because you got hit in the head with that tree limb
and missed 3 days of school last semester.
Since that time, you
have not confused your 'r's with your 'w's. Every year, several
people make that mistake trying to say 'red ribbon week'. You
are not that pretty and you're not that special. Stop shouting
"Don't make fun of me!" Go along with the joke. Now you have
made people want to antagonize you about the tree limb incident.
Stop being such a freakin' misfit. Nobody can be nice to you
and include you because you won't let them.

DoNot...pig out on the free food that Hillbilly Mom brings you.
OK, so it's not a gourmet meal. But you get donuts or chips or
candy or raisins or poprocks or whatever the Hillbilly young 'uns
don't like anymore. Hey, it is in a wrapper. It is not chewed on.
You are the only class out of the 6 classes of Hillbilly Mom to
get this special treatment. So it doesn't make you look grateful
when you take 4 of something, or take a whole giant movie box
of grape Mike 'n' Ikes after already eating a Little Debbie Brownie.
We discussed this at the beginning of the year, how Hillbilly Mom
used to set out a bowl of candy for all the classes, but some
people took way more than their share. Hillbilly Mom has
chastised you several times already, and the other student also
questioned why YOU think YOU should have extra. The goodies
will last longer if people take one item per day, or a reasonable
serving of Mikes 'n' Ikes. Your passive-agressive shrugging,
combined with the lack of apology, are leading you down the
road to NoCandyForYOU Land.

DoNot...leaf through a photo album after Hillbilly Mom has told
you to put it away and get to work. Do not bring up your Science
as proof that you've done something and say, "There. It's all done.
It's probably not right, but I don't care." Do not continue flipping
through that photo album after Hillbilly Mom has told you the first 3
of the 7 answers are wrong, and to do your Science over. Do not
dig in your purse after Hillbilly Mom has been kind enough to give
you a list of vocab. words, and the special boxes Mr. K wants them
written on. Do not write on a note instead of doing the vocabulary.
Do not say "It's not a note" when you are scolded for it. And
especially DO NOT slam your purse down in a little fit of
freshman rage when your are told that you must take responsibility
for doing your work, or you will never earn any credits.

DoNot...put up a display of a plantation in the main hallway by
the office during Black History Month. Granted, we are pretty
much a lily-white school district, but we do have a handful of
students of color who might get their feelings hurt. Is this the
school image we want to present to visitors who are looking
for the office? What are we teaching the children by our actions,
however well-meaning but ignorant they may be? (Our actions,
not our children.) Even though you may have thought nothing of
it, and could not imagine any reason for it to be wrong, it still
IS wrong. Political correctness rules in this day and age.
Thank goodness we judged our spelling bee by the book.

DoNot...miss your ride after school because you were in the
basement buying sodas out of the machine. And after the fact,
do not compound the crime by IGNORING me when I ask
what you are doing in my duty area, or play dumb (well, maybe
that was authentic) by saying, "Oh. Didn't the bell ring?" Do
not ask me if I've seen your grandma in a red Scout, because
as a matter of fact I DID see her park, walk into the school,
come out with a scowl, and drive off. And above all, when I
ask you where you've been to miss your ride, do not look at
that sweatshirt in your arms that has something rolled up in it
and say, "I was downstairs buying sodas" like that is a good
excuse. Do not forget this when you get called into the office
because one of our duty team wrote you up.

I am about DoNotted out for now. But there's sure to be more
b*tchin' next week.

9 Comments:

Blogger LanternLight said...

I'm sooooo glad I don't have to work with children. I'd think I'd end up even more pernickety and grumpy than I am now.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Lantern,
Like me, perhaps?

10:01 PM  
Blogger Chickadee said...

The people who park in the "No parking" zones really irk me. Irk me to the point that I want to slash their tires.

What gives ya the right to pull up to the curb? Is the title "King" "Queen" or "President" in your name? Do you have legs? Uhhh, yea. Walking doesn't hurt..it's actually GOOD for you.

Ahem. Sorry about that. I'm a little crabby today too. LOL.

Hope you have a good week this week!

http://www.danno.org/blogs

10:59 PM  
Blogger LanternLight said...

Like me, perhaps?

No, OH SO PRETTY one, someone with a coal black heart like mine.

There's a TV show called Grumpy Old Men, and yes, I fit the age range.

And the grumpiness.

4:38 AM  
Blogger MrsCoach2U said...

Really, you should have just left the building with all the other teachers RIGHT after school and left the basketball coach to look after all the kids, he's there anyway! Oh, wait, your not in our school district. Sorry for the suggestion!

8:04 AM  
Blogger Babs said...

"DoNot...put up a display of a plantation in the main hallway by
the office during Black History Month." This has to be my favorite DoNot. Did you know that black students in the south do not appreciate the Confederate flag either? Amazing!

9:08 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Chick,
I think the week will be better. I just found out today that we DO get President's Day off, even though we took a snow day. WooHoo!

Lantern,
I'll have to give you bonus points for the OH SO PRETTY reference. Your heart has been upgraded to brown. There's nothing wrong with a little grumpiness if it doesn't affect ME!

Mrs.,
As a matter of fact...one day a MR girl was left, because the walking and pick-up duty guy left early. After all my bus kids left, I saw her and took her to the office. Of course the principal was gone to a BB game, and we have been told not to leave students with the secretary. So the secretary said to leave her with the counselor, who was having academic team practice until 5:00. But I DID tell the counselor, who agreed.

Babs,
My high school mascot was a Rebel. We thought nothing of the connotations at the time. We were just glad WE weren't the TROJANS.

5:20 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

I think DoNotDay is going rather smashingly, eh?

Yesterday I felt like saying, "Wind, DoNot blow my hair into my lip gloss!" and "Kids, DoNot forget to wear your deodorant if you ever want Abby's mom to bring cupcakes back to your classroom!"

10:41 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
If only we could morph DoNotDay into a weekly national holiday...

7:56 PM  

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