Sunday, March 19, 2006

Popularity is for Poo-Poo Heads

Let's talk about popularity. Because I can't think of anything else
today. Are you popular? Are you a nerd? Are you so nerdy you
became popular? How about those nerds on The Amazing Race?
From what I've been reading, they are one of the viewers' favorite
teams. Nerds are popular! Who knew?

Popular people annoy me. They are so freakin' self-centered. Now
you must understand that is different from ME saying everything is
all about ME. Because I can do that. I am not popular. And I know
things about other people. Like their names, for instance. And things
that interest them. Here's an example. Once upon a time, years ago,
at one of my many schools, a smart-but-not-popular senior walked
down the hall and stopped to talk to the school counselor, who was
chatting with me. Which was unusual in itself, because the counselor
was popular and I was not. She asked the counselor if she'd written
that recommendation yet. The counselor replied, "It's on my desk
right now. I'm going to do it when I go back." The senior smiled.
"Thanks a lot!" As the senior walked down the hall, the counselor
turned to me. "What was her name again?" Give me a break! The
counselor, of all people, should know who the kid is if she's agreed
to give a recommendation! This was not a large school. It had less
than 100 students per grade level. The counselor only had four years
to learn the names of the students. I guess my point is...ain't it just
like a popular person to only be concerned with themselves, or with
other popular people?

In high school, I was not popular. Hands up. How many people
knew that already? I see it's unanimous. I was a nerd, which meant
at least I had respect for being smart, even if I was not included by
the populars in all their little stuck-up games. Ooohhh! There were
many rumors about the populars that ran rampant through the
nerds. One was that the blond senior in our freshman PE class
actually missed a week of school because she swam in the pool
and her hair turned green. Either that, or she was off having an
abortion. Back in the day, girls didn't just have babies at the drop
of a thong. There was some stigma to it in Bible Belt small-town
America. Another rumor was that at a party, the seniors turned
off all the lights and had sex with whoever they grabbed. There
were two variations to this story. One was that the hostess of the
party was found screwing her brother on the couch when the lights
came on, saw him, and kept doing it anyway. Another was that
someone went into the master bedroom, and there were three
senior girls in bed going at it. I think we must have had some wild
imaginations. If they'd said So-and-So came back from lunch so
high he couldn't read out loud in class, we'd have believed that,
because we saw that every day. But the goings-on of the populars
at their exclusive popular parties were mysteries to us.

My senior year, I hung out sometimes with one of the populars.
We were on the volleyball team (2nd place in the state tournament,
thank you very much) and would later share an apartment for a
year at college. A year during which I almost died of boredom, a
year in which any time I was home alone with her, I looked like
that deflated pot-smoking girl who melts to the couch in that public
service commercial. Only I wasn't on the pot. Much. Anyhoo...
we did what every other kid did on a Friday or Saturday night--
cruised through town, honked at our friends, and had a Mama-
Burger at the A & W. I was bored to tears. I kept thinking,
When is this going to be fun? She was BORING. One night we
picked up another popular girl, which meant that I had to move to
the back seat so she could ride shotgun. BORING times two.
Great Googley Moogley, the boring crap those two talked about.
"So then I said, 'QUIT, Boyfriend! Don't put your hand on my
knee...Miss Popularity is here. I don't want her to see me do that!'
I was so drunk!" Ho hum. I longed for my nerd friends, who did
things like moon their bare butts out my hatchback window while
cruising Main Street, drink pitchers of beer left on Pizza Hut tables,
show me how a one-armed man counts his change, scream "Ohh...
I LOVE push-ups" in a suggestive manner when the football team
warmed up before the game, and drive by the Drive-In 20 times to
get a glimpse of some skin in R-rated movies. Ahh...good times.

Some of my schools had their little groups of popular teachers.
Hey! Guess what? I wasn't one of them! Well, except at one
school, where everybody was invited to parties except ONE
person, and we even invited her husband, just not her. She went
on to be an elementary principal in another district, and a 2nd
grader brought a gun to the Christmas program to shoot her, but
was caught before he could. Perhaps we were a good judge of
character. Perhaps not.

Now that I've meandered to Handbasketland and back...I'll get
back to my regularly scheduled blog. Don't you hate it when a
person acts like she's (I'll say she, but it has also happened with
guys--bitter little girly men) your best friend until somebody
better comes along? Then you might as well dive into the sour
cream and chives, baby, because you've just been dropped like
a hot potato. One minute you're chatting away about people less
popular than you, and the next thing you know, you're getting the
cold shoulder. Nobody looks at you, they turn their backs to you,
they whisper in hushed tones about something so secret you're
not allowed to hear, because you're not a part of Popular Club.
First rule of Popular Club: Don't talk to people not in Popular
Club. I hate it when that happens.

Nerds, on the other hand, will include a person who walks up
on the conversation. Probably so they don't think they're being
talked about, which would necessitate revenge on the nerds.
Nerds are inclusive. They revel in their nerdiness. First Rule of
Nerd Club: Talk about Nerd Club to anybody who will listen.

And now I've forgetten the point I was out to make on this day
when I could not think of a subject on which to enlighten you.
Unless it is: Popular People Piss Me Off.

And they're boring, too.


Blogger Walker said...

I agree with you.
It shouldn't matter if your popular or not.
It comes down to respect.
The counceller should have remembered the person he was talking too.
I think the people that are most ignored are kids.
If you go to a store you would see a sales person ignore a young kid out looking to buy something so that he/she could serve an adult because it is known that the adult has more money to spend.
Thanks for stopping by.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Chickadee said...

Yup, ya can't trust those popular people, even today, when you're all grown up and out of high school. I wasn't popular either. I got picked on in grade school horribly and when I hit high school, I learned to be invisible.

Don't mean to stereotype or anything, but it seems to me the popular people are not trustworthy, as you mentioned, because they drop you when the next "best" thing comes along and have you seen the way they backstab each other???

No thanks. I'd much rather be a hermit than to go through that crap.Besides, it's about QUALITY not QUANTITY.

10:06 AM  
Blogger MrsCoach2U said...

My class was so small, we just had one group---cousins!

2:38 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

I agree, it's a matter of respect. I found you thru Brian's Weekend Roundup.
Enjoyed you post about Blogging vs Writing.

Oooh! I HAVE seen them backstabbing! Not an OH SO PRETTY sight!

Ha! You gave me my SNORT for the day.

I have worked at a school where everyone was cousins. There were about 8-9 students per grade. The freshman class had 11, because they had triplets in their grade. Ricky, Randy, and Robby. Funny the things you remember when you really should make room for more important things in your head.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

Oh, I have so been there, making way for the sour cream and chives. My memory of the one night I spent with the popular kids is best forgotten. Think bottle of whiskey, 4 pack of wine coolers, cops and being left at the parking lot of the civic center(aka police station) to find my own ride home. Those popular kids scattered like roaches when the light comes on and I ended up riding with popular girl's sister and her friends. Top that with nerdy boyfriend (3 years invested in this nerd) turns popular "hunk" and being dropped for the popular girl who once left me at the civic center parking lot. I was always a cheerleader but somehow still on the fringes of popularity. I was a band geek, queen of the geeks one year and president of them another year.
Fifteen years later I have discovered, Life after high school, is still high school. Things just seem to keep going in the cliques department, don't they?

8:04 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Your tale of woe is worse than mine. Getting left in the parking lot AND losing the boyfriend...doggone poopular peeps.

Hey! I was band president! And also a member.

5:49 PM  
Blogger ill man said...

Funny that. I was even unpopular with the unpopular kids at school.

But then, I was an annoying little retard when I was fourteen, so I can't say I blame them.

3:38 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Ill Man,
The other women teachers and I were just talking about that the other day. Not YOU specifically, though. WHY do these psycho-teachers have affairs with 14-year-old boys? They see these critters every day. Where's the attraction? There's not much to like about 14-year-old boys. Even the 14-year-old girls know to stay away from them!

6:03 PM  

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