Thursday, March 16, 2006

HH's Hot Tub Faux Pas

No, my Hillbilly Husband didn't toot in the hot tub. It's still on the
borrowed trailer. It's what he plans to do with it that is plain ol'
embarrassing. Heh, heh. That reminded me of bare-assing when
I typed it!

The original plan was to put the hot tub behind the house, beside
the Wal-Mart swimming pool. It would set under the back porch,
just outside the basement door, on concrete. There, it would have
a view of the woods and animals. It would be convenient to step
out of the basement and into it in the cool weather. You could go
from the pool to the hot tub if you wanted.

Then #1 son spilled the beans on HH's new plan. "Mom, he is
going to put the hot tub in the garage."

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why put a hot tub in the garage? Won't the car be alienated? The
truck, not so much. He is too long anyway. The five cats who live
in the rafters, knocking down Christmas ornaments, will be glad to
have water in their lair. They have been partial to the chlorinated
Wal*Mart pool water since last summer, but perhaps they are
ready for a new beverage. I'm sure they will gladly donate the hair
off their backs for the privilege of having a hot tub. Let's not forget
that the garage reaches upwards of 120 degrees Fahrenheit in
the summer. Just what you need for hot tub sitting. Perhaps we
will call it the 'boiling the flesh off your bones tub'. And how 'bout
that view? To the left, two metal doors. To the right, 3 shelves
stacked with items we never plan to use again. Straight ahead,
a bevy of fishing poles hanging on nails hammered into the studs.
OR my large SUV. Above, plywood patchwork laid down on
the rafters, a cat tail twitching here and there. Ooh, baby! Let's
throw us a hot tub party!

When enlightened on the above concepts, HH responded to a
select few. Cat hair in the hot tub? Naw! He's going to build a
wall around the hot tub. Umm...a wall that can keep out cat
hairs that fall from the plywood ceiling? I knew a girl who had
an indoor cat, and she even had cat hair in the FREEZER!
The view? Well, HH is going to put in some windows. Where
is he getting the money for THAT, I'd like to know. The temp?
Oh, we won't be using it in the summer, just the winter. And
what is different about using it compared to the big triangle
bathtub with jets, which is already in the house?

We took a poll, the DoNots and I. Only ONE person in
21 voted to put the hot tub in the garage. That o n e was
Mum. I believe we've discussed him here before.
Enough said.

4 Comments:

Blogger MrsCoach2U said...

Add one more Do-Not to the list, I vote for outside the basement door. In the garage.....really what is he thinking?

8:06 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Mrs.,
I never know what HH is thinking. If I did, I would be very afraid. I have counted your Do-Not vote. Thank the Gummi Mary that HH has since put it out back. More on that in the next post.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

That man of yours is just plain precious.

9:55 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
That's one word for it. And you should know, because you've got the same model!

5:20 PM  

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