Sunday, March 12, 2006

The Key To It Is...

I meant to post this yesterday, but then my Hillbilly Husband
off on his big adventure to procure free stuff.

Hey! I have 144 posts on this blog! That's a gross. I wonder how
many people say that every day: "The Hillbilly Mansion blog.
That's-a-gross!" Let's see what's in the old keyword searches
file today, shall we? You really have no choice. You're along for
the ride on the MEway of my life. Because it IS all about me.
Don't you forget it.

how did they torture children...Yes, I'm so proud. One of my
students must have called the 1-800-BAD TEACHER hotline
again. And he's gonna get it now, that little...Oh! Never mind.

does Kraft macaroni and cheese expire...I'm glad you asked that
question. While I'd like to tell you the answer is no, my experience
with that 4-year-old stuff my Hillbilly Mama gave me would make
me scream yes!

laying around the shanty getting a good buzz on...We're all
about the good buzz here at the shanty. And even more about the
laying around.

blog I spank my -monkey...You are in the wrong place. My
monkey is well-behaved and doesn't need a spanking. My
monkey is loved. My monkey is spectacular.

oops I squirted again...Perhaps you should leave the monkey alone.

weiners circle us hot dog...You talk pretty one day? What are you
trying to say, sweetie? Are you having the dreams again? I'll look
up the Oscar Mayer hotline number for you when I get time.

i already know I'm fat so...So fat that the weiners can't circle me,
hot dog.

waking up during surgery...Been there. Done that.

horny mom net...Is this a device for catching horny moms, like
in Planet of the Apes? Well, they only caught apes, but is it like
the same thing, only instead of riding through a field and throwing
the net, they ride through a laundromat?

top 5 funny reasons to be a radiologist tech...Dave? Have you
shortened your list? Let's see, I can think of 5 reasons:

you get to hold boobs and squeeze them with plexiglass, like
playdough, or playboob, or boobdough
2) you get to act all important when slamming those X-ray plates
into place, like you're readying the Space Shuttle for take-off
3) you get to stand in that little booth and zap people with
radiation, like some kind of video game gone wrong
4) someday, one of these patients WILL glow when you shoot
that radioactive dye into him
5) when you see those broken bones, you can shout "D*mn!
Glad that ain't me! See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!"


Blogger Redneck Diva said...

Laying around the shanty getting a good buzz on? I wanna visit your shanty!

Omg, the hot dog one made me laugh out loud.

So have you visited my stats today? You frequent them more often that I do. Probably because I'm here in my shanty NOT getting a buzz on.

4:17 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

This shanty is now inhabited by young 'uns, and the good buzz is a thing-o-the-past.

I try to visit your stats every day, because they are more outrageous than mine. I got better ones when I was the Redneck Review.

Last night, you had "little panties." That got me thinking about your embarassing panty faux pas in Wal*Mart, and the time you left a pair at the ball field (?). So I snorted.

You also had a bunch of "red neck bra"s, which I think you've blogged about before. Then there was "snickers commercial, bald" and "keebler grasshopper cookies introduced". Please tell me the cookies are not MADE OF grasshoppers.

I only stole your searches that one time, with the "going to the fair" thingy. I couldn't resist.

7:18 PM  
Blogger LanternLight said...

top 5 funny reasons to be a radiologist tech

As an IT Guy, it was one of the few places we weren't allowed to go without making an appointment. (ie. I want to make an appointment to FIX YOUR PC...)

IT Guys tend to have an "Access All Areas" pass, in my experience.

And speaking of the medical profession, I've always had my doubts about blokes who want to be gynecologists.

12:18 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

What are they up to, those radiologists?
They can never tell you anything, either. They say you'll have to wait for the doctor to tell you.

9:45 PM  

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