...and the award goes to...

The results have been tallied from the 21st Annual Missouri Council
of Teachers of Mathematics Elementary Student Mathematics
Contest. Our very own Hillbilly Mom Son #1 earned an Honorable
Mention (7th place) in Problem Solving, and a 5th Place in Concepts.
WooHoo! He was proud to earn ribbons in both divisions, since last
year he only had the Honorable Mention (also 7th place) in Concepts
He took the video camera, and smiled like a politician (or a 'possum
eating sh*t', to borrow a Redneck Diva expression) for his Math Club
sponsor to film him. That was supposed to be MY job, but he said she
was a faster learner. Kids can be so cruel!

I did not really want to spend my Saturday hanging around a place
of higher education. Well, almost. It was the local junior college.
As always, I discovered that no matter where I go, people piss
me off! Children should not be left unattended. Especially 4th, 5th,
and 6th Grade children. Great Googley Moogley! You'd think some
of these kids had been kept in a storm cellar their whole lives. Ha!
That reminds me of Daddy Daycare, when Eddie Murphy and
Regina King are looking for a suitable daycare for their cute little
Tweety-Bird-slipper-wearing moppet, and come to that Gypsy-
looking woman's house. She walks them around the side of the
house, and gestures to the closed door in the ground which looks
like what we call a storm cellar around these parts, saying, "We
keep the chiiiiiillllldrennnnn right around heeeerrrrre." It's kind of
creepy, but my favorite part. Unlike #1 son, who prefers the beefy
redneck woman with a cigarette dangling from her lip, baby on hip,
who turns over the 'Beware of Guard Dogs' sign so it reads 'Touch
of Eden Preschool'.

Anyhoo, after the competition, before the awards ceremony, those
kids raced around the commons area. Inside the building, people!
Our sponsor sent a note explaining that parents should be there at
11:20, because the sponsors would be grading papers, and the
kids would be unsupervised until awards were given at 12:15. Did
the parents from other schools comply? Only a handful. I'm sure
their sponsors sent home a note as well. Those kids ran up and
down the stairs like they'd never seen such an invention. They were
like a passel of 'Nells'. Shame on them! They were from a much
larger school in our area. Our students were very well-behaved.
That's what subs tell us, too...that they like to sub in our district
because the kids are more polite. Who knew?

#1 son has already placed his ribbons in the trophy case that holds
his dad's treasures. He was pleased with his performance, which
is all that matters. And he got breakfast at McDonald's with the
Math Club. He is now burning junk with his dad over at the barn.
They hauled it home from HH's work a couple weeks ago. HH
has to give 50% of the take to work (for the privilege of hauling
it off for free and doing all the work to burn the coating off the
copper wire and hauling it to the junk man). He promised #1 son
10% of his half of the money. The boy thought for a minute, and
announced, "So if you have $1000 worth of junk, you get $500,
and that means I get $50!

I think he's good at math because he pretends all numbers have
something to do with money. Money he might get a cut of.