Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The Revenge of Mr. K

OOOH! Mr. K got me today at lunch!

I had no idea what fate was in store for me when I merrily left the
mansion this a.m. It was a cool, clear morning. We saw a quail
running across the road like a student who already has three
tardies and knows the next one means ISS, the 'I'm in a hurry...
busy, busy, busy...out-of-my-way' scurrying that incorporates
the olympic race-walker's hip-swaying gait.

We also saw three red-winged blackbirds, two perched on road
signs, and one on a post. I am assuming they were red-winged
blackbirds, because, well, they were birds, they were black, and
they had an orangy-red swatch of color on their wings. My blog
buddy Colleen might know, cause she is one for the birds, and
I just think of them as flying things.

This was different from our other mornings, when we just see
fat-bellied robins in town, and giant crows in our yard, and
stupid turkeys on the way to civilization. Just yesterday, we saw
six turkeys, standing in a field like those people Michael Myers
let out of the asylum in the original Halloween. Stupid turkeys!
Don't they know they are being hunted?

Anyhoo, Mr. K has been threatening revenge for a while now,
ever since the 'fag' incident. "Oh, pshaw!" I tell him. Well, not
really, because people in real life don't talk like people in books.
I didn't think he could get me. I cut my teeth on peons like him.
What could he possibly do to embarrass me? He is, after all,
a nerdy gentleman. My DoNots said so. He didn't even use the
'F-word' in front of me until after Christmas.

Today at the teachers' lunch table, Mr. K was asked if his new
daughter keeps him up at night. He said only last night, and she
woke up his other daughter, too. Then Mr. G was asked if his
twins wake each other up.

"No," he said. "But this morning I went in to check on them. They
were still asleep, but they'd taken off their diapers in the night, and
pee was everywhere. Their butts were up in the air, just a-shinin'."

"That's how Mrs. Hillbilly Mom found Mum this morning," said
Mr. K.


OK, so a good laugh was had by all. I told Mr. K that I will hold
him responsible for all the nightmares I have the rest of the week.
That did not seem to concern him.


Blogger Chickadee said...

LMAO...ohh, you gotta watch the quiet ones! But at least you can appreciate a good burn.

Yup, sounds like a red-winged blackbird you had there. I liked you description of the quail...they do run around like they're in a hurry.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

I'll never forget a commercial years ago, I think it was for coffee. This couple was out in the woods with their binoculars and you could tell they had spotted something wonderful by the looks of glee and impending orgasm on their faces. One of them whispered to the other, "A red-winged blackbird!!" We see them all the dang time! I couldn't imagine there being a place on earth that didn't have something as common as a red-winged blackbird. It'd be like me passing out cold at the mere sight of a robin. I dunno, it just seeemed stupid. You'd think the writers could've come up with something exotic like a Six-toed Warbling Gold-beaked Muffincup or something.

That Mr. K....he's a zinger waiting to happen. I'd watch him.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

I have a feeling Mr. K is cooking up something big.

Those quail make me want to say, "FLY already! What's up with the running?"

I have missed your comments during your little MEcation. I may not be able to respond to all of them.

That Mr. K runs deep. I do not turn my back on him.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

Keepin' ya busy, was I? Maybe Mr. K and I have a plan to ursurp your OH SO PRETTY power.

Be ware, oh Hillbilly One.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Do not cross over to the K side. That would be like batting for the other team. Not that there's anything wrong with that...UNLESS it affects ME!

7:29 PM  

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