Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Trip. H*ll. Handbag. Eiffel Tower.

I am the bad guy. I will not let my son go on the class field trip.
Simmer down, now! I have my reasons. Here is the story.

The second grade is going to Meramec Caverns. It's a big cave,
for any of you who don't know. You can check it out here. I have
nothing against caves. I used to go through them all the time on
family vacations. Get the point? FAMILY vacations. I don't think
there will be enough supervision for my child. Not that he's a
raving lunatic or anything. So he kicked his churchy shoes at the
music teacher during the Christmas program. That was the year
before last.

Anyhoo...#2 son's teacher sent home a very informative note
about the field trip. They are going on an hour-and-twenty-
minute tour through the cave. I believe the note said the tour
covers one mile, or may a mile and a half. I have been through
this cave. It is well-lit (for a cave), has paved walkways, and
handrails. But I am afraid it will be too much for my 8-year-
old son.

Years ago, we took my Hillbilly Husband's boys through Marvel
Cave at Silver Dollar City. The younger one was around 6 years
old, and he did not want to go into that cave. We drug him through
it, but he was scared the whole way. What if my baby got scared
and didn't want to go? You can bet there would be nobody to
take him out and sit with him for an hour and twenty minutes. I
do not feel comfortable sending him on this trip. There are too
many little kids to supervise.

Several years ago, another school district, I believe from the
St. Louis area, took a field trip to Meramec Caverns. They had
a picnic lunch, and went to look at the river. A little boy stepped
in to wade, and was swept away. The teachers were right there,
but couldn't stop him. He drowned. Nobody's fault. It just
happened too quickly. I know, I am looking at worst-case
scenarios, but that's how I am. If it doesn't feel right to me, I'm
going to follow my instincts, and not let him go.

Don't be hatin' on ol' Hillbilly Mom. We plan to go this weekend
as a family, and let him see the cave. There is a shorter, 45-minute
tour that he might want to go on. With a parent. He also wants to
pan for gold, which is a big deal to the kids. They can buy a bag
of dirt and swish it around in a trough of water, and keep what
gold or gems they may find. It will cost more than sending him on
the field trip, but hey, we're made of money. And I will feel safer.
If it was #1 son, I wouldn't be so worried. He has more common
sense. Eleven-year-olds are more reasonable than eight-year-olds.

In other news, we had no air conditioning today at my second
building. It was 87 degrees outside, people. My room is on the
third floor, west side, of a brick building. It was 81 inside. That
is a hardship for Hillbilly Mom. I spent the morning at a comfortable
72 degrees, then climbed to the third level of H*ll. Without a hand-
basket, I might add. I'm sure there was a good reason. I know
they would never put finances above the comfort of the students
and teachers. I felt like that limp, freaky, flat girl pouring off the
couch in that public service announcement about 'Don't Smoke
Pot.' Only without the pot. The change in temps and humidity gave
me a pounding headache by afternoon. Rumor has it that the air
conditioning will be on tomorrow.

I also forgot my black bag this morning. It is full of my necessities.
Like aspirin, acetominophin, and ibuprofen. Only the generics for
me, baby! And a comb so I don't have to fork my hair. And my
requisitions for next year that are due Wednesday. And some
reading material for when I have nothing to do. I truly missed my
black bag today. It felt like I left an important appendage at home.
I mentioned it to one of my classes, and a girl said, "Way to go."
I don't get no respect. I'm sure she was just irritated by the heat.
I did get some sympathy from the kid who lost his wallet at lunch.

This post should be long enough now to satisfy Mabel. I don't
know why I let her hold such power over me. I won't even see
her this week, what with her transporting the Eiffel Tower to
another venue. The Eiffel Tower she has been building for weeks
now. It is prom season in the Heartland, people. Mabel came in
this morning to break the news to me. And browbeat me with:
"It's a good thing you made yesterday's blog longer!" I think those
were her words. I was shaking and couldn't comprehend so well.
I suspect she has a voodoo doll of me stashed away somewhere,
and that's why I do her bidding.

I have to be nice to her. I am teaching Math next year. Mabel is
the Mr. Wizard of Math. She is like Bill Nye, the Science Guy.
I think I'll call her My Pal, the Math Gal. When she isn't around,
of course.



Blogger Chickadee said...

I don't blame you Hillbilly Momma. I think 8 years old seems to be a little young to be touring a cave. Heck, a few years ago, when I was in college, we went on a geology-related tour of the Onadonga cave (not sure on the spelling there, but it's also on Hwy 44 out west) and some girl in the class freaked out and had to leave. Guess she was claustrophobic.

I know how those 8-yr old kids are...especially when they're all in a group on a field trip. I'm usually the idiot naturalist, teacher etc who is the field trip destination.


10:54 PM  
Blogger MrsCoach2U said...

OH WoW! Someone who really does think like me. My kids never went to the zoo an hour away without me on field trips. Either I went or they didn't. 9 kids/adult just isn't a good ratio these days (oh my I think I just mathed!) I totally agree with you on the trip thing.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

Sam's class is going to Fantastic Caverns on Friday and I'm going with. Not that I'm a huge cave fan or anything, but because I figure if I'm there I can keep him from being whisked away by a savage bat attack or something. I guess this cave is a ride-through one, so that's good. I think. The Kindergarten went a few weeks ago and SmallTownStarlit (the teacher) said the kids did really well and there were no catastrophes, so here's hoping 1st grade isn't more accident prone.

I love going on trips with Sam's class. The little girls in there think I am THE SH*T! I like being the sh*t to 7 year old little girls - makes my self esteem that is damaged from my last salon trip jump up a little.

I applaud your protectivity (Is that a word? There I go making things up again.) So far none of my kids have gone on a field trip that I found questionable, but if that ever happens you can bet that I'll be vetoing, too. Way to go, Hillbilly Mom of the Year!

9:12 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Glad to know it's not just me who finds the 8-year-olds a bit antsy.

You are a wise woman, I see.

Riding sounds better than walking the 8-year-olds for an hour and 20 minutes. Yes, indeed, you ARE the SH*T!

8:57 PM  

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