Saturday, April 08, 2006

Search Warrant Saturday

Alrighty then...I feel it is my civic duty to notify the proper
authorities concerning some strange activity in the vicinity of
my statcounter.

PERV PREVENTION POSSE
burning spanked butts
mom was trying to hide her panties
hot tub mamas
back door mama
bifucated penis
moms that drive bare foot
crutching women
blog mile high stripper
feet behind his head
10 year old boys having sex with there mom

STONER PREVENTION HOTLINE
granny in paradise winter wonderland crack
elixir of the devil way
hillbilly jug
little debbie and cosmic brownie

QUEST FOR QUARANTINE LEGISLATION
inflamed windpipe
histinex and pneumonia
wheeze cough mucinex

SUPPORT GROUP FOR PARTNERS WITH BAD TASTE
hillbillies gone mad movie
bear beer blind date fart downloads video
toothless hillbilly woman photos
cast iron pig grill hibachi bbq planter
alaska spit
hillbilly beard for sale
intervention vomit ziplock
cartoons of hillbillies wearing flipflops
expired ranch dressing
hillbilly hairdo
eating expired macaroni and cheese
hillbilly sounds
cat tears
hillbilly slippers
weiners circle menu
hillbilly teeth

STOP THE STUPID FROM REPRODUCING COUNCIL
does kraft macaroni and cheese expire
ask if i sex and he come in i donot baby
what does nr/ao rating mean
oopsey
hillbilly wisdom
hillbilly jokes about kids for monologues

REALTORS BEWARE BLACKLIST
hillbilly tree house
the girl next door play boy mansion
lymph mansion
oprah mansion photo
spelling mansion
houses in hillbilly town

NERD ACTION REGISTRY
awake during surgery law
geeks versus populars
secret codes for handhelds
black-eyed legume
lawyer daily folder
big red wrapper on forehead
waking up on the table during anesthesia mishaps
things your mom said all the time

That's the wrap-up on what people were really trying to find when
they landed here this week. Some will be sorely disappointed. A
few will be pleasantly surprised. But not the guy looking for the
bear beer blind date fart downloads video.

7 Comments:

Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

I have never been the bare footed driving mumma, yet I do know some mummas that drive their kids to school in their jammies...I gotta say though, it'd be mighty embarrasing to be pulled over in your nightie by the fuzz or even get a flat tyre (only at the bottom of course) and have to get out to change it. LOL
My friends' dad used to drive us to school, high school that is, in hoe silk robe and slippers..no underpants...ewwww spew!! How we wished he broke down or got pulled over by the coppers..dirty old buzzard he was..
Cazzie!!!

7:56 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

"bear beer blind date fart downloads video" - it wasn't me, I promise. It was Mr. Diva. Yeah.

Gosh, I've missed reading you lately! I've been able to toss out a post or two lately, but haven't had time to read. It makes me sad when I don't get to play with my friends. Hope you're feeling better today!

12:21 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Cazzie,
Thanks for the new nightmare plot. I'll think of you when I wake up screaming.

Diva,
OK. Since you promised, I'll believe you. I'm feeling well enough to check your keywords, and I'd like to know why in h*ll anybody would go to your site to find out 'what kinds of outfits should I pack for a beach vacation?'

They did provide me with a title for my fictionalized autobiography: Living Without a Gallbladder. Oh...but I'm so much mooooore than that...

AND, I think my HH has been searching, since your searches had: backyard pond building on unlevel ground. Guess we're not having the Wal*Mart pool this year. HH must be building his very own CEEEEMENT POND!

3:57 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

We went to the beach in Biloxi, MS, oh like 3 summers ago, but I don't remember giving advice about what to pack. In fact, most of the talk before the trip was about being so close to the water (fear of water you know) and after the trip was about what that kind of humidity does to my hair. But no, nothing about my wardrobe or suggestions thereof. Hmmh.

Cement pond? Nope, they didn't find what they were lookin' for at my blog. We have two ponds and ours are just regular dirt and water ones.

So for kids, severity of sickness is measured by Gameboy play and for adults it's checking friends' blog stats?

5:48 PM  
Blogger Chickadee said...

OMG, those are funny and disturbing all at the same time. On some of them I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended.

Now that I'm among the working masses again, I've got material for my blog...so I'm blogging again. Hooray.

http://www.danno.org/blogs

10:32 PM  
Blogger ill man said...

My blog used to be called 'Notes Of A Dirty Young Man'
The stuff I used to find in my tracker made my toes curl.

Now, why does 'Hot Tub Mammas' sound so familiar.........?

3:40 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
Yes, the benchmark for adult sickness is whether you feel like reading your blogfriend's stats.

Chick,
Well then! I'll come back to visit. For a while, I felt like that creepy stalker who keeps driving by to see if you're home.

Ill Man,
What? That hot tub thingy is a REAL pr0no? Who knew? Oh. YOU DID! You dirty young man! Stop taking notes!!!

6:46 PM  

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