He Who Pranks Last Pranks Best

My #1 son wants to prank his Fifth Grade teacher. I think I will
allow it. It all started when the teacher flung toilet water on the
class. We'd better start at the beginning...

Mr. B was upset with the boys in the class, because they have
been flushing unflushable objects down the toilets, and clogging
them. Things like rocks, people. Mr. B wanted to make a point.
He came back from the bathroom break with a wet plunger,
toilet paper clinging to the plunging part. Mr. B swung the plunger
around the room for emphasis. "I'm tired of you boys clogging
the toilet! This is going to stop!"

And Mom, some of the toilet water hit me in the eye!
What? He can't do that!
Well, he's tired of them clogging the toilet.
That's a health hazard! Is your eye OK?
A piece of the soggy toilet paper flew off and stuck to Bob's
shoulder! We were all screaming, especially the girls.
Didn't somebody complain?
No. He told us what it really was. He went to Wal*Mart and
bought a new plunger, and got it wet and stuck Kleenex to it.
It's a good thing!
It's pretty funny now, but we thought it was out of the toilet
I told him I was going to prank him for that, and he said he is
unprankable. You've got to help me think of one, Mom.
I can send him an email tonight: "Please excuse #1 Son if he is
tired today. We were at the emergency room until 3:00 a.m.
He had some irritation in his eye. He came home saying it burned..
The doctors did a culture, and we had to wait for the results so
they would know how to treat it. They found E. coli, which is a
bacteria most commonly found in feces. I don't know how he
could have picked this up. He was in quite a bit of pain, and then
didn't get much sleep, so please let him put his head down on
his desk if he feels bad. He didn't want to go, because of the
$100 copay we can't afford right now. Poor kid. You don't
take chances with eyesight, though.
No, Mom. I want to sent it to him.
Then he'll know it's a prank. You haven't emailed him all year.
I'll think of something better. He WILL be pranked.

I told the story to Mr. K at lunch, and he laughed. He'd heard it
already from the horse's mouth. "Yeah, he saw the door open to
the janitor's closet, and looked in. There was a brand new plunger,
still had the price sticker on it. He grabbed some paper towels,
and wet the whole thing in the drinking fountain."

I told him of the new pranking plan, which I can't mention here.
I'll tell you in a couple weeks, when it has been carried out.