Calling In Sick

I don't have much to say today. I have picked up some kind of cold
from the Math Contest on Saturday. Darn those nerds! Why were
they not wearing their surgical masks and latex gloves?

I have a stack of dishes to wash. An overflowing laundry basket of
clean clothes to fold and put away. Well, that's kind of an everyday
thing around here, but I can milk my pseudoillness for all it's worth.

In addition, I have been putting off my taxes like a an agorophobic
scheduling a hot-air balloon ride...like pimply, greasy-haired, lazy-
eyed, nose-picker asking a date to the prom...like a 950-pound
man implementing a work-out program...like a nine-year-old getting
ready for bed...like a teacher rushing to the cafeteria for lunch duty
...like a male in my house picking up something off the floor...like a
DoNot writing a research paper. You know what I mean.

So, in true end-of-the-year teacher fashion, I am taking a sick day
from the blog today. Actually, I should only be charged with a
half-day, because I DID write something.

Be good, folks. Do not tell the sub that I let you blog outside on
sunny days like this. Do not rearrange my blog. Do not ask to go
to someone else's blog. Do not tell the sub I let you drink and
smoke at my blog. Do not tell lies about me to the sub. Do not
taunt the sub.

And you, SUB! Do not tell my bloggers inappropriate jokes.
Do not put your feet up on my blog and flirt with my bloggers.
I WILL find out! They will tell me when I get back, you know.