Wednesday, December 07, 2005

If You Give a Teacher a Muffin...

...he might not come to school the next day. We are suspicious,
our little lunch group.

Yesterday, a student came by the teachers' lunch table. She held
a tray of muffins. They were light-colored, possibly blueberry.
"Do you want a muffin?" she asked Mr. K. He said, "Who made
them?" She replied, "I made them." He took one and set it on his
tray. She is not a known troublemaker. She looks clean enough.
He was a bit wary. She did not offer any to the other 4 of us.

"Look at this. What did she use, a Magic Marker?" The top of the
muffin had a red 'K' on it. I don't think it stood for Mr. K. I don't
know what it stood for.

Earlier that morning, I had seen the girl stop Mrs. S right in front
of my doorway. "Here, have a muffin," she said. "Take one with
a 'J' on it." All the muffins had red lettering. I don't know the
meaning of the labels.

I had forgotten all about the markings, until after lunch, when
Mr. K said, "I wonder what that 'K' stands for? Kill?" And then it
hit me, and I had to tell him, "She told Mrs. S to be sure and take
one with the letter 'J' on it." That got him worried, as he'd already
consumed the muffin at this point.

We all sat down to lunch today, and no Mr. K. Our best sub was
there. He said he was in for Mr. K. Then Mr. S said, "I hope that
muffin didn't make him sick." Now we are wondering.

That was my lead story, the attempted homicide. Now on to the
weather. We are expecting snow tonight, with a day or two off
later in the week. Well, we teachers and students are expecting
snow. The weathermen say either 1-3 or 4-6 inches, which must
mean that we will stay dry as a bone, if their forecasts are as
accurate as they were last year.

And for the human interest story, Hillbilly Mom's youngest
boy got a note sent home from school today. I know, it's hard
to believe, huh? Not so much a note as a couple of sentences
in his folder that must be signed every night. And he did not get
a purple pawprint stamp for today. That is the first time all year.
Seems he had to be told to quiet down numerous times by the
art teacher. When questioned, the boy 'couldn't remember'
the details, until a kindly swat on the behind was offered to
jog his memory. Oh, yes. It all came back to him. He thought
perhaps he 'laughed too loudly' in the art room. He does not
believe we will have this problem again, since it will result in
the loss of GameBoy privileges for 7 days. At first the penalty
was to be one week, but the child said, "So, if it happens on
a Friday, I'll get it back after the weekend, right, because
that will be a new week?" For some reason, I think he might
have a relapse of this behavior.

I would love to tell you more about the developing story:
Someone Has Stolen the Baby Jesus, but it will have to
wait until tomorrow, due to the length of this broadcast.


Blogger Redneck Diva said...

Scary stuff about the muffins. Someone should call and check on Mr. K. And how's Mrs. S?

We, too, are forecasted to get snow tonight, but so far the lack thereof has only succeeded in making my children INSANE. And yeah, when they forecast 1-5 inches that means we will get BUPKUS. At first it was supposed to snow this morning, then they moved it to afternoon . . . it's no 9:30 pm and still NO FREAKIN' SNOW.

I NEED a snow day!! I watch three teachers' kids and I NEED for it to snow!

9:28 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

What!!!You STILL don't have snow? You are supposed to get it before us! Now I have no hope!

Mrs. S is as sassy as ever. She must have got the good one.

9:50 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

I can't wait for the Baby Jesus story!!!!!!

11:10 PM  
Blogger MrsCoach2U said...

Mr.Coach would have eaten all the muffins before anyone else got a chance. Maybe you should put in a good word and he can teach there next year. He can be your official taster. As a Chemistry fanatic he could probably tell you what was poisoning him as it was happening. He has an iron gut so he most likely won't die. The HomeEc teacher loves him because he'll eat whatever crap her class throws together.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Baby Jesus, coming up.

Mr. sounds like a bargain. He is re-usable. The last thing I ate from the students was some cream-cheese-and-chocolate concoction that the Spanish class made. It was like cheesecake with no crust. Not too bad, and I still made it to school the next day.

11:43 AM  

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