Saturday, April 29, 2006

Big Blogger Task #1 "Let's Go Shopping"'s that time of year again. Time to be manipulated by Big
Blogger. Our first challenge is called "Let's Go Shopping". Our
task is to create a product that we will need in the cyberhouse.
We must invent our own brand, tell why the house needs this
product, and come up with a catchy grab line to promote it.

I have been looking at the other housemates' products. It seems
as if we already have a beverage, and some cereal, and some
cleaner. Methinks we might need some type of product for
recreational purposes, since all work and no play makes Hillbilly
Mom a dull gal...all work and no play makes Hillbilly Mom a
dull gal...all work and no play makes Hillbilly Mom a dull gal--
Excuse me. I just had a flashback to the winter I spent as the
caretaker of the Overlook Hotel.

I will submit a little invention of mine called Mystical 9 Sphere.
It is an alabaster orb that can answer questions for you. Here's
how it works: first, ask the Sphere a question. Shake it up. Flip
it over to the little window thingy where the messages appear.
Sometimes, the Sphere acts like a hoity toity psychoanalyst and
answers a question with a question. That does not mean it is
broken. You can try again, or make up an answer for its question.
For example, I ask the Sphere, "How many more days is
Housemate Cazzie going to wear that T-shirt bikini?". The Sphere
answers, "What is Satan's age?" I can accept the fact that the
bikini ain't comin' off any time soon, or I can provide an anwer
to that question such as, "Old enough to kick your a$."

All questions and answers found in the Mystical 9 Sphere come
from Hillbilly Mom's own keyword searches. I gave the ol'
Sphere a test run, and here were the results:

Where can I find out more about chewing on fentanyl patches?
Lesbian big boob nurses.

What are Hillbilly Mom's hillbilly pencils made from?
Her wooden leg.

Where can I get photos of Oprah's mansion?
Adult bookstore, sissy.

How can I find jokes for kids about hillbillies?
Email Rebecca freely.

What is on tonight's hillbilly menu?
Vomit jellybeans, hillbilly caviar, 1 tablespoon histinex,
and a scab picked off by chicken.

As you can see, this toy can provide us many minutes of bonding
behavior when we are not busy swilling Sump Cola, chowing
down on Scorn Flakes, or scrubbing the cyberhouse with
Cazzie's Cool Cleaner.

The advertising slogan for the Mystical 9 Sphere will be: "Get
In Front Of the 9 Sphere! Control your destiny." It will sell for
$19.97 at Wal*Mart. The Big Blogger 2 house will recieve one
free in exchange for promotional considerations.

Check out Big Blogger 2 challenges from other cyberhousemats.
Oops! I meant cyberhousematEs.

Stewed Hamm

Good luck to all!


Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

"Where can I find out more about chewing on fentanyl patches?
Lesbian big boob nurses." know one of my many secrets then Hillbilly Mom....I AM a nurse!!! LOL
Cheers Cazzie!!!

7:39 PM  
Blogger LanternLight said...

Mystical 9 Sphere

Wasn't that a Twilight Zone episode???

Lesbian big boob nurses

It's an actual pr0n title, who would have known??? :-)

Well apart from the LBBN set...

5:00 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Umm...was that supposed to be a secret? Because I'm pretty sure I read it on your blog. Or maybe in a comment you left somewhere. But I AM good at discovering secrets. Just ask Bec.

I'm not even a nurse, but I know that chewing on fentanyl patches is not really such a good idea, seeing as how IT WILL KILL YOU! I also know that a dose of Benadryl is not the best treatment for a broken arm, which I believe DeadpanAnn said her mother tried to do back in the day.

I don't know about the Twilight Zone episode. They frighten me, since I saw one as a kid where there were people trapped inside the walls of a house. I'll have to ask my Magic 8 Ball about it.

LBBN is a pr0n title? Go figure! I have not heard of that one. Though I did see Surelick Holmes once while in college, because my peers pressured me into it, and we went to an actual pr0n movie theater, and I was surprised that the floors were sticky, and that there were a lot of men there without dates.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

As soon as I get moved into the house I'm SO playing with the Sphere! After I eat a bowl of cereal covered in cola and scrub things down. Because I have OCD, you know.

Btw, sticky floor in a pr0n theatre - IEW! I'm kinda nauseated now. Wonder if Sump Cola eases an upset tummy like Coke does.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hi Hillbilly Mom,
Cazzie knew before you did actually, so don't think you can get any points with Big Blogger that way.
Oh and Redneck Diva, you are in the house now, time to get your entry done.

4:53 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Yeah! I forgot about the OCD. We'll never have to clean. You can do it for us. I have a feeling that Sump Cola has more kick than Mountain Dew. It ain't no Sonic Cherry Diet Coke, that's for sure.

You mean that sticky floor wasn't from people spilling their Cokes?

Now the competitor in me want to know...did Cazzie detect the secret in a shorter time period than I? Did she do it from across the ocean? By only reading your blog? Ahh...and I thought I was the first.

And I wasn't mentioning it to get points with Big Blogger. I was trying to impress Cazzie with my psychic abilities, so she would beware of gossiping about me in the BB2 house. Perhaps an early form of an alliance, based on FEAR! Now that cat is out of the bag. I should have taken a picture of it for my buddy, Mr. K.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

No punn intended, and no punn taken..I think it is admirable that you have these psychic abilities Hillbilly mom...and because we are housemates in the BB2 I think it will be interesting to take on the challenges set before us. A bit of competition never hurt anyone.
I won't be gossiping about anyone in the house, for we are a FAMILEE!! LOL
So pass the Scorn Flakes and the Sump Cola :)
Cheers Cazzie!!!

4:26 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hi Hillbilly Mom,
I will have to email you off blog with all the details, but I'm not worried about you trying to score points. Remember Big Blogger makes up the rules as she goes.

5:57 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

No gossiping, or we'll sock it to 'em with Lantern's sock thingy product.

When I get a bit more time this weekend, I will email you my questions.

About that other are not worried about me trying to score points. Does that mean you think I won't get ANY points? And how can I forget that Big Blogger makes up the rules, what with that Sheep On a Unicycle still fresh in my mind?

9:01 PM  
Blogger Scottage said...

You know, I went to consult the 9 Sphere today, and I think it's developed a bit of an attitude:

Q: How long until the whole Big Blogger crew gets naked in the hot tub?

A: Consult the magic 8 ball, I'm busy!

Q: Who's going to win Big Blogger 2?

A: Unless it's me, why should I care? Kiss my butt!

Q: Who likes my cut-up cow?

A: No one is that stupid. Now get out of my face.

Obviously time for the 9 Sphere to get an attitude adjustment.

12:32 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

That was a problem with the first generation 9 Spheres. Whacking them with a lead pipe sometimes corrected it. And sometimes killed the 9 Sphere, letting its spherey guts leak out.

4:26 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home