Sunday, May 14, 2006

Sneezy and Grumpy

It's official. My Hillbilly Husband has the flu. Yeah, he had a flu
shot--back in October. I don't know what strain the shot was for,
or if it just wore off. But the fact is, he went to the ER last night,
they tested him, and he has Type A Influenza. I'm staying away
from him. He has 4 prescriptions, one for Tamiflu, and one for
ibuprofen, and I think the other two are for a suspected kidney
stone. May. Flu. Go figure!

It all started yesterday afternoon. He had been mowing the yard,
we went out to lunch, and the next thing I know, he's whimpering
that he's cold. #1 son got him the thermometer. 98.7 degrees.
He didn't believe it. I got him the thermometer. 98.2 degrees. He
piled on two blankets, and put a pillow over his head. I checked
on him again an hour later. 103.2 degrees. He kept shivering and
whining. I told him I'd take him to the ER if he waited 10 minutes
for the kids to finish their supper of buttered noodles.

Oh, no. He couldn't wait. He staggered around gathering up his
keys. I told him to wait. "There's nothing wrong with me. I can
drive," he shouted. Hmm...nothing wrong with him. Then why was
he going to the ER? Plus, the hour of drama that he was dying.

I never know what to believe from him. There was the time he
was sure he was having an aneurism or a stroke, so he went to
the ER. Diagnosis: ear infection. Then there was the time he had
epiglottitis. His throat was closing up and he couldn't breathe.
ER diagnosis: sore throat. This time, he'd been to the doctor on
Thursday, and the doctor told him he must have a bug. He'd
felt nauseous on Thursday morning, and came home early from
work Thursday and Friday with a headache and achy joints. I
just thought this was a new bid for attention, since I am almost
out of school for the summer.

Anyhoo, he drove himself to the ER. Hey, it's only 5 miles from
our house. He called to report that he had a temp. of 104.5. I
guess I believe him. They did the flu test, and sent him out to get
medicine at 9:00 p.m. Which is kind of hard to do around these
parts. He ended up at a Walgreens 20 miles away. Hardhead.
I could have done that. But when I volunteered to drive him to
the ER, he said, "No. Then they'll be there waiting with me."
Hmm...not a very nice thing to say about your own kids. How
would he like to spend every waking moment with them all
summer? Not much, I bet. It might give him an aneurism.

So...he had planned to take #1 son to a Cardinals game today.
4 free tickets, field box, section 132, row 22, seats 15-18, $33
apiece. I called all around trying to give them away, but could not,
due to Mother's Day, and such short notice. Now he has spent
the day lounging around, yelling at me. As in: "What do you mean
you don't want to catch it from me? I probably caught it from you!
You are the one who's been hacking and coughing all week,
complaining about a sore throat!" To which I replied, "Oh yeah.
I've had the flu all week! I've been doing everything around here,
and I haven't been to the ER, and I don't have any medicine, and
I have to go to work tomorrow. Amazing how I can survive it
but you have to go to the ER!" Which didn't go over very well,
but hey, it's Mother's Day, and I don't feel like putting up with
his bull for this one day of the year.

Oh, they gave me Mother's day gifts. Which were on the receipt
from Walgreens last night. I guess I wouldn't have gotten anything
if he hadn't been sick. I got cards from each of them, and some
Hershey's Pot o' Gold chocolates, and a pen & pencil set. And
I bought myself a folding chair at Wal*Mart this morning, because
my old one has about 20 mud daubers' nests in it, and it crumbles
when I unfold it. WooHoo! Happy Mother's Day to me! I am
still waiting for my birthday trip to the casino. Maybe we can go
when school is out, and spend the night on the cheaper rates
during the week.

My #2 son picked out a lottery ticket for me when we picked
up a bag of ice this morning. It was a $5 Solid Gold scratch-off
ticket. He won $15. I'll let him choose more often. He was
thrilled. We got the gamblin' fever here at the mansion!

Now I must run to town again to take my Hillbilly Mama her
Mother's Day card and gift, and one for my grandma as well.
The menfolk will lie around here starving, waiting for me to get
back and prepare supper. Oh, and I forgot to mention that
while I was shopping this morning, HH did a load of his laundry.
Which he does about once a month, due to being hard-headed
and not putting his clothes in the hamper where they belong.
Thing is, when he put his in the dryer, he took out a load of the
boys' jeans that needed to dry another 40 minutes. My dryer
is a 1986 Sears Kenmore. It still runs, but takes longer.
Anyhoo, HH dumped the pile of damp jeans onto some already
clean clothes in the basket. When I confronted him, he said, "Oh,
those aren't dry?" Duh! You'd think he could feel it when he picked
them up. Last time I checked, the flu doesn't cause you to lose
sensation in your arms.

It's going to be a long week.


Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

As wives and moms we do have to do it all don't we? And to boot, you are now officialy a nurse to the invalid that is HBH with the flu!! I am a compasionate nurse and all but I detest having to be nurse at home, unless it is one of the kids..oh..hang about...I guess we could class our Significant Other as "one of the kids", LOL

8:23 PM  
Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Oh, I hate wet towels on the bed or floor after they have had a shower too, my biggest pet hate that is!

8:24 PM  
Blogger C@sPEr said...

Eeeeewwww.... the dreaded lurgie, sneezy and grumpy! Does the flu shot really work?! I gave up on them years ago, after getting sick within a week of the shot.

Why is men are such bad patients when sick? Yes, I am male and would have to be the worst patient ever, just ask my partner. All I want is the be left alone... if I need something I will call you :)

8:31 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

HH is definitely one of the kids. Only more needy. He uses his wet towel over again until I hang up a new one. EEEWWWW!

The flu shot has worked for me for 14 years now. I had the flu once, and never want it again. I almost blacked out from the fever, and was weak as a kitten when I went back to work. And my work is not strenuous. I can sit on my a$$ all day, but still, it made me weak.

Men are forgetting that it is not ALL ABOUT THEM. No matter how hard they try, it will always be ALL ABOUT US.

Yes, just call if you need anything. I am all-powerful, you know. I can make my husband eat a whole can of baked beans and 4 hot dogs, just by cooking them. I can give him the flu when I don't even have it. I'm quite a gal.

10:49 PM  
Blogger Chickadee said...

Good grief what is the matter with your hillbilly husband?

I still think you should go on your own strike. Instead of going on the roof, go to the casino for a few hours everyday and don't cook.That'll teach him!

I hoped you enjoyed your Mother's Day a little bit anyways.

8:33 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

That is a riddle many people have been trying to solve for many years.

The casino would be much more fun than the roof. But it's about a 90 minute drive one-way. I've already tried the no-cooking thing. After a couple days, it has a big impact.

I enjoyed the very special Mother's Day gift that Redneck Diva left me on her blog. And my kids were good to me for about 2 hours. Not a bad day at all.

7:11 PM  

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