Sunday, June 25, 2006

HM Watches TV

I have too much idle time. I've been watching bad TV. Now you're
going to read about bad TV.

I was skimming through the channels the other night and stopped
at The Girls Next Door on the E! channel. It is a 'reality' show
about those Playboy girls who live in Hugh Hefner's mansion.
Now I'll really get the weirdos searching for that other mansion.
Anyhoo...I don't know the whole set-up here, but it seems like
that wrinkley, turkey-necked Hef has a harem. Like he's got the
polygamy thing goin' on, but without all the marriage licenses.
Because that's illegal.

Here's the thing: what are these girls thinking? Is Anna Nicole
their idol? Why would young girls want to live there and do what
they have to do to live there? If you know what I mean. What can
be in their backgrounds that makes them want a relationship with
an 80-something-year-old man?

The most outrageous part is that on the show I saw, some of the
girls had gone to visit one's home town. They were in the limo on
the way back to the mansion, wondering who would be sitting
next to Hef on the couch at movie time. One of the girls was
ready to kick her butt, whoever it was. HELLO!!! You already
share him with a gaggle of other gals! What difference does it
make if he's got another one? Idiots!

Next up, the Discovery Health Channel. I just caught the last half
of this, because I was switching to some other show off and on.
It was called something like: Men Having Babies. The title lured
me in. Then I found out it was about a couple of gay guys who
paid a lesbian to have their baby through artificial insemination.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. A kid wanted that bad
should have a decent life. Surely they won't drive a car with it in
their lap, or let it fall out of a high chair and crack its skull.

Apparently, the guys both donated sperm for their petri dish baby,
and the woman was implanted with 3 embryos, because on the
first try, she miscarried two embryos. These guys already had
an adopted toddler, and seemed to take good care of it. They
wanted a child of their own, too. The main caregiver guy had
black hair. He could have been Hispanic, or Italian, or any
ethnic heritage with black hair and dark skin. I couldn't tell.
The other guy was very white, and bald with a fringe of reddish
hair. I don't know which of them got two embryos and which
got one with his DNA.

Here's the shocking part. The baby was born. It had reddish
hair, and was mostly bald, and had the facial features of the
bald redheaded daddy. The families came to the hospital, held
the baby, oohed and ahhed over it. Next, we see them 10 months
later. The baby has a little more red hair, and is still the spittin'
image of the bald white daddy. For the record, the baby's mama
had dark black hair also. Back to the shocker. The darkish daddy
said, "We're so happy to have a child of our own. We still don't
know which one of us is the genetic father, and we like it that way.
We don't want to know. He belongs to both of us." WTF? Is this
guy blind? That baby looked like it fell right out of the redhaired
daddy's butt. I don't see how people can be so blind to the

This morning, I took a little trip on the Travel Channel, to Oregon.
The show was something like Vacation Homes. A realtor chooses
three houses for couples to look at, based on what they say they
want. Today's couple was in their 50s, and wanted a secluded
cabin near water. These 'cabins' were $200,000 to $250,000.
That's no cabin! That's a house!

The shocker? These people had a dog that they carried the entire
show. I know its legs worked. I saw it squirm a couple times. It
wasn't a little bitty dog. It looked like a miniature greyhound. Not
much hair, lean, whitish in color. It was calm, not feisty. It was
bigger than a beagle, but thinner, with longer legs. The dog had
a mink coat! Not just a blanket that strapped on its back. It was
a tailored coat, with four 'sleeves' for its legs, and a hood! No
wonder they wouldn't let that poor doggie down. They didn't
want to lose the mink coat. How did that poor thing go to the
bathroom? Did he have to take off his entire coat and freeze,
or did it have a flap like those old red longjohns HH used to
have? I was more interested in the dog than in the cabins.

Some people have too darn much money.


Blogger AverageMom said...

Ahhh.....summer TV. I personally am waiting with baited breath for the return of Big Brother. That way I can watch other people be bored and snippy.

1:53 AM  
Blogger MrsCoach2U said...

I've seen these shows! GND is comic relief, keep watching you'll see them "cook" and drive the Chef nuts! Watched 30 seconds of the MHB show, I went back to GND. VH is weird. Do they get paid to go look around for vacation homes? Why would you want to televise the fact that you are too rich to look for your own home? Oh wait, if I was that well off I might televise it too.....

8:24 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

I LOOOOOVE Big Brother. I have already voted online for some of the major troublemakers. But not Howie or Kaysar or Janelle. I do not like their superiority complexes.

I hope your dogs don't have mink coats with hoods. Or even without hoods! But I bet those Girls Next Door have mink coats for their dogs, if they ever take them anywhere cold. I saw one of the help who had to feed those dogs while the girls were gone set down the food bowl and say "Enjoy your meal."

5:44 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

My friend, Magnet Lady, just bought her doggy a coat with boots. She says it's real cute. But I know for a fact that she makes the dog walk. With the boots on. Just so they can laugh at her. I can't wait till the next time I go to her house because, by cracky, I want to see it, too!

I am rather fond of Tuesday Night Book Club, but I find it to be a bit more staged and less reality. You know, because reality TV is so dang real and all. It's not so staged that I quit watching it, though.

I love Discovery, Travel, TLC and all those other networks that have strange shows like "Half Man, Full Life" and "The Half-Ton Man" and such. I don't know why, but I do.

6:31 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Please tell me the Magnet doggie attire is not mink.

Hey, Tuesday Night Book Club is not on tonight. It does seem staged to me. I want to smack that fireman husband who just moved into the new house. He is spoiled, and wants a servant, not a wife, methinks.

I love all those shows. Go figure! We have something in common besides sharing the same husband. ;)

6:57 PM  

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