Monday, July 17, 2006

Big Blogger 2 Task 13 Big Blogger, the Musical

This week's Big Blogger task requires us to write a song.
Big Blogger says:

"OK Cyberhousemates, we need the number one hit from
Big Blogger the Musical
. So get writing those lyrics."

With apologies to the late, great Jim Croce and his classic
'You Don't Mess Around With Jim', here is my entry:

The school has got its DoNots,
The Save-A-Lot has its bums,
The Cyberhouse has its Hillbilly Mum
She's a gal that's OH SO FUN.
Yeah, she's as smart and psychic as a mom can come,
When she rolls she gathers no moss.
And when the housemates all get together at night
you know they all call HM 'Boss'...just because...
they say

You don't tug on Cazzie's bathroom towels,
You don't ask Big Blogger who'll win,
You don't pull Carlos out of Diva's arms,
And you don't piss off HM.

Well, out of Arkansas there came a country man,
He said "I'm lookin' fer a gal named HM.
I'm a Tiki-lovin' man, my name is Mr. Stewed Hamm,
And my penis thought I'd win.
I'm lookin' for the ruler of Hillmomba
She's wearin' a pop top Coors Light can
And this may sound crummy, but she ain't very funny.
I've come to give her a WHACK." And everybody said "Jack,
don't you know...

You don't turn out Lantern's light,
Don't ask Bec and Big Blogger if they're kin,
You don't play 'skin the cat' with Rachy's little Niles,
And you don't piss off HM.

Well a hush fell over the Cyberhouse
When HM heard who was there
With Diva's Fittymaids,
And Cazzie's bus, Stewie soon was packed up and moved.
Oh he was packed in 'bout a hundred containers,
And shoved onto that bus
And you better believe he was moved a whole lot quicker
Than when he did it himself.

You don't throw paint on Mark's Vargas collection
You don't ask Tim T where he's been
You don't barf all over Scottage's rec room,
And you don't piss off HM.

Yeah...HM's got her royal crown.
Find out what's goin' down
Not hustlin' people in the same Cyberhouse like that
Even if you do want that pink custom-made flamingo hat.

By cracky!

Hope you enjoyed my little ditty. And my song, too.
Don't be afraid to vote every day in the sidebar at
Big Blogger 2.


Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Way to go HBM, I was a dancing around the room singing this goes very well :)

8:27 PM  
Blogger LanternLight said...

Hope you enjoyed my little ditty.

Ummm, you were very brave....

7:25 AM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

You are OH SO TALENTED, HM! I gotta give you some major props for that one.

Now, I'm off to make my first of many daily votes for you!

8:56 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Happy to entertain you.

I can't slip one past you.

You and Mabel are my most loyal voters. I'm so happy I could give you both a cat.

6:56 PM  
Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

I don't know whether to be flattered or apalled... And to think that I was OH SO CLOSE to deciding whom to vote for.

5:54 AM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

So YOU'RE the one who started this whole cat business???

Or did I miss something somewhere?

8:27 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Of course you are flattered. The whole freakin' song was about you. Bask in the glory that is Hillbilly Mom's song-plagiarizing talent. I trust you'll make the best decision in voting. We are both winners, in our own special ways. As are you. You are the best at dragging out a move to last a fortnight and a half. Or thereabouts. Methinks.

I didn't mean to play the Cat Card. I don't know what's come over me lately.

11:27 PM  
Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

Dragging out a move? Oh hell, I wasn't even trying on this one. I could have done two months, easy.
Incidentally, I saw the aforementioned pink flamingo hat at Silver Dollar City... You have to admire their dedication - even the pimps wear period-accurate costumes.

3:03 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Bow to the Royal Crown of Hillmomba! aka the Pink Flamingo Hat. I knew you'd come around to giving SDC its due. We'll make a good hillbilly out of you yet.

9:39 PM  

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