Friday, December 09, 2005

Christmas is Coming

Ain't that purty? Except, if you look closely, the trees are full of
leaves. I took this picture back in May. It might come as a surprise
to you, but we leave our Christmas lights up year round. I know,
who woulda thunk it?

The lights are on a switch in the garage. One turns on the garage
light, the other the Christmas lights. At least we put away the other
stuff. Well, that's almost true. The artificial tree laid in its box under
the pool table all year. But plastic Santa and the plastic candles
and the big plastic candy canes and the giant plastic ornaments
for the cedar trees went back to storage--in the top of the garage.
Oh, sure, every once in a while the cats knock something down,
and we have Christmas in July. But it mostly stays put.

I am in the midst of cleaning up the house today. Yes, we have a
real snow day today...none of that getting all ready and driving to
school and THEN getting a snow day. It was called off at 3:00
yesterday. WooHoo! I even stayed awake for all of ER. Anyhoo,
we are cleaning up the house so some 10-year-old boys won't
think we live like pigs. I'm sure they'll notice, aren't you? We
have to stash away those lingering Easter baskets with wrappers
and a few jelly beans and two miniature cartons of bubble gum
eggs and HELLO! A Nestles caramel egg was hiding under that
blue plastic grass. Tasty.

So we have now established that my housekeeping leaves a bit
to be desired. Life's too short to live in a spotless house, I always
say. Well, I don't really, but I think it.

I must wrap some Christmas gifts and buy some more. I usually
have all of this done by now, but that unexpected surgery and
jury duty have thrown me off schedule. My teaching buddy Mabel
might be interested to know that along with a gift from Country
Mart, she also has one from Casey's. For those of you who don't
have Casey's where you live, it is a convenience store/gas station,
like a smaller version of 7-11. Only the best for Mabel, I say.
Well, I don't really, but I want her to think so. I didn't know how
this gift worked. The cashier had to show me. My son wants to
play with it, but he is not allowed.

We are not getting our Scotch pine from the family Christmas tree
farm this year. My Hillbilly Husband says we are going to cut a
cedar tree off our new land. The land we bought back from the
Land Stealer. Since it is right next to our barn, this will be quicker
than driving to my cousin's tree farm. We will get it on Sunday, I
imagine, after the birthday sleepover party, and before HH leaves
Tuesday to go back to Germany. He is going to Brazil in January,
and China in February. Maybe the birds will be getting over their
flu by that time.

I still need to make my annual Chex Mix that I give to some people
for Christmas. I hope the kids' teachers don't think it is like a muffin
with a Magic Marker label on it, and toss it in the trash. Mabel was
offered one of those muffins, but refused. She said she used the
excuse that it wasn't good for her teeth. I was hoping she clamped
her lips shut and shook her head silently like that "Would you like
some pie? Try a bite!" episode of Seinfeld.

Well, much like Seinfeld, this post is going nowhere. It is merely an
excercise in not-cleaning. I still have part of the kitchen, the laundry
room, a bathroom, and my office to work on. Just in case the boys
decide to wash a load of clothes, you know. Or clean out my tax
files. Then again, they might want to eat some paste. Yeah, I like
the Simpsons, too. You rock, Ralph Wiggums!


Blogger Redneck Diva said...

I am so jealous!! Not only did we not get any snow days, but I even gave up an opportunity to have a Sick-Kid day! Am I crazy or what?

We are having approximately 20 of our friends over tomorrow night . . . my bathroom is a biohazard, my dining room floor is crunchy and there is dust about 1/4 inch thick covering every surface in my living room. Usually I go with the theory, "If they're my friends they won't care if my house is messy. They'll love me just the way I am." BUT this time, I'm afraid someone would get sick if they used the bathroom... and I just don't want that hanging over my head this holiday season.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hi Hillbilly Mom,
Will we get to see your recipe for Chex Mix?
Also what is wrong with having leaves on trees at Christmas time? Heck, we spend most of or Christmas days in a swimming pool, it's too bloody hot!

4:26 PM  
Blogger deadpanann said...

Amen to not cleaning! I'm working hard at that right now. The Man will be here in the morning. He never cleans his house, even when I'm coming over, so I don't know why I'm putting all this effort into cleaning mine...I mean not cleaning mine.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

What? Someone is jealous of ME? Will you still be jealous in May, when I should be out of school, but I am making up those snow days? I think not.

I might divulge the recipe for my Chex Mix. It has been handed down from my Hillbilly Mama, but mine is better than hers--my son said so. I think you can probably find it on the back of Corn Chex or Rice Chex cereal. What gives with you people, having Christmas in the middle of summer? I hope you put sunscreen on THE BABY JESUS.

Miss Ann,
HH used to clean his apartment--before he had ME to do all his dirty work. Break your man in right. Mine tells me I was too set in my ways before we got married. Meaning: I don't always do what he wants me to do.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hi Hillbilly Mom,
My next question is, What the hell is Chex? We don't have it here.
Christmas in Summer is the greatest thing to do, it means all the kids can go outside and play with their new cricket sets they get from Santa. It also means lots and lots of Prawns to eat.

3:38 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Chex is a crispy non-sugar cereal that is only used for Chex Mix at my house.

2:17 PM  
Blogger MamaKBear said...

Am I the only person in the world that doesn't like Chex Mix??? Bleh! My Mama would make it when I was a kid and I always hated it.

As for cleaning, well...I try to keep my house decent, kinda have to, 'cuz I never know when DHS might stop by for a "surprise" visit. Right now, though, my bathroom looks like a tornado went through it, the kitchen has a sinkful of dishes (again! I already did dishes once this morning dammit!) and there's about a dozen baby bottles on the counter waiting to be washed. Don't even ask me about my dusting habits!!

11:28 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Let me answer for you. Yes. You are the only one. Maybe you just haven't had the right recipe yet.

I hate to clean. So I don't.

4:47 PM  

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