Bunny Tale

As I promised yesterday, here's the tale of our Saturday lunch date
and how my children always find a way to embarrass me.

My Hillbilly Husband wanted to go out for dinner Friday night, but
the kids wanted to wait until Saturday. They like the local wings
restaurant, because it has a lot of games. We sat at a table out in
the middle of the room, not too close to the giant TV screen. A
couple of guys came in and sat at the booth behind #2 son and I,
about 2 feet away. They sat sideways and propped their legs out
on the booth seats, watching the Cardinals game on TV. By the
time we were almost done, they'd had 3 beers apiece, and not
any food yet. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

#2 son had been trying to win a stuffed yellow dog in one of those
grabber machines. He spent about $3.00, at $.50 a play. Finally,
he snagged it. He was thrilled. He shot both fists into the air, and
yelled, "YES!" An older couple on the other side of the room got
quite a laugh from it. He brought the dog over and sat it between
us on his chair. #1 son swaggered over to the machine, popped
in two quarters, and promptly won a blue Easter bunny. #2 son
jumped up and down. One night, #1 won two stuffed animals,
and gave them to #2. Young #2 knew better than to ask for it.

#1 son put the bunny in his chair and went to play a deer-hunting
game. #2 son stood expectantly by the table, eyebrows raised,
hoping to be given the bunny. #1 said, "If I give it to anyone, I'll
give it to YOU, Mom." #2's hopes were dashed. He stuck out
his bottom lip. I said, "You know what I'll do with it, don't you?"
#1 looked disgusted. "Yeah. Give it to HIM." That's when he did
it. #2 son, standing 2 feet from those 3-beer guys, said loudly,

"I know why. Because YOU SLEEP WITH DAD ALMOST
EVERY NIGHT, MOM! And you don't want any of his spit to
get on it."

I was afraid to turn around and see those guys laughing at me.
I guess they were wondering who I slept with on the other nights.

*************************************************

Because my teaching buddy, Mabel, is disappointed by a short
post, I must continue.

My Hillbilly Mama brought us some leftovers for lunch today. I had
planned to go to her house and consume them, but HH scheduled a
heating & cooling man to come take a look at the air conditioner.
He does these things all the time. When I have a day off, I have to
sit and wait on various servicemen who may or may not be needed.
The air conditioner works fine. HH said it hasn't been checked out
for a few years, so now was as good a time as any. 95 degrees
yesterday, and the thing worked like a charm.

HH has always been bitter about my time off. Forget that he never
went to college, certainly does not have a master's degree, gets to
traipse about the globe on the company's dime (even to New
Jersey and Mississippi, people!), earns a large year-end bonus,
and makes twice what I do. Oh, and he never has to take care of
these whining children 24/7, day in and day out, while taking care
of the house and working a full-time job. No, he begrudges me any
time off. The h & c guy was scheduled to be here at 10:00. He
didn't show up until 12:40, and left after 1:00. He put in three
pounds of coolant, whatever that means, for $150. Whether we
needed it or not, I suppose. HH does a lot of business with their
company. You'd think he'd get a kickback, huh? But he gets
compensated in Christmas hams and baseball and hockey tickets.
That doesn't do much for me. Or the bank account. Thank the
Gummi Mary that we're made of money. (Stop laughing, Mabel).

The boys have been fighting, gorging on Easter candy, fighting,
eating fried eggs for breakfast, fighting, nibbling on Easter candy,
fighting, consuming noodles and butter for lunch, chasing it with
Easter candy, fighting, throwing plastic Easter eggs at each other,
fighting over the same chair (cause we must have only one in
the entire mansion, don'tcha know), and snacking on Easter candy.
Kids. They're all about the carbs. The fried eggs were an anomaly.

I am saving the leftovers for supper, so I had a big salad. Mmm...
a big salad so good that George Costanza would have been proud
to pay for it and let his girlfriend take credit by handing it to Elaine.
I'm not saying it was healthy. But it was good. Hearts of romaine,
fiesta cheese blend, mushrooms, green olives, banana pepper rings,
tomatoes, ranch dressing, sunflower seeds, and butter-and-garlic
croutons. Mmm...

A deadly calm has descended upon the mansion. I must go see if
the boys are in a sugar-induced coma, or if one has been knocked
unconscious by the other.

School tomorrow. I think we have 21 school days left. HooRah!