Wednesday, May 17, 2006

School's Out!

Schoooooool's out. For. The summer!

No more pencils
No more books
No more teacher's dirty looks

Well we got no class
And we got no principles
And we got no innocence
We can't even think of a word that rhymes

And that's just us teachers! I guess the kids feel the same way,
huh, Mr. Alice Cooper?

I finished packing up my classroom for the move to Lower
Basementia next year. I suppose I'll survive. There will be
fewer people to PISS ME OFF down there. Nobody will
know what's going on in my classroom except the teacher
next door. I won't tell if she won't tell.

I hauled home a buttload of stuff. I have to come up with some
type of course plan for next year. I will have 5 preparations:
9th grade math, 9th grade communication arts, 8th grade math,
7th grade math, and 7th grade communication arts. It's not like
I'm teaching brain surgery or rocket science. It will just be time
consuming to get things ready this first year. The good news is,
I have all summer. The bad news is, I have to use my summer
vacation time to do it. Is anyone playing the world's smallest
violin for me yet? HEY! I want someone to play the world's
biggest violin. I think it's that one in Branson, with the end
sticking out of the wall, it's so big.

My boys have had one day off. They're not bored yet. My
Hillbilly Husband is home all week with the flu, and a new
ailment. It is cellulitis. He had it last fall when he had pneumonia,
and spent 5 days in the hospital. He goes back to the doctor
on Friday morning to see what they're going to do about it.
His brother called him from Las Vegas yesterday, and said he
had cellulitis last year, and spent 4 weeks in the hospital on IV
antibiotics, and missed another 5 weeks of work. They sent him
home with an IV, and a visiting nurse had to come change it.
He said the doctors were afraid the infection would get into his
bone. Does that sound right, Cazzie? Kim? You nurse-type
people? They had an aunt who had some odd bone disease
years ago, and they are wondering if there might be some genetic
factor in this susceptibility to cellulitis. HH's was in the other leg
last year. Both times, it has started in his knee, and moved down
into the foot. His brother said he banged his leg on something,
and cut it, too. HH has never had a cut or open sore. The doctors
can't figure out how he is getting the infection.

That's just like HH, timing his illnesses to coincide with my time
off. I do not like him underfoot. He messes with our routine.
In other words, he thinks it is ALL ABOUT HIM! I don't know
where he got that idea. Certainly not from me. I will grudgingly
admit that he cleaned one of the bathrooms while I was at school
Monday. It even looked good. He did a load of his own laundry
on Tuesday. Today he made the bed. This debilitating illness
thingy seems to agree with him.

I mentioned that he made the bed...the bed I have not slept in
since Friday night, because, hey, HH has THE FLU. I have been
sleeping in #1 son's bed. Here now! It's not like that! The boy
sleeps on the basement couch. Of course, the second night, he
said, "Mom, can you sleep in my TOP bunk?" Um...NO! He has
not slept in that bedroom for almost two years. But now that I
want to sleep in there, he has to have it back. No dice, kid.
Maybe by the weekend. Then he won't want it anymore.

But let's get back to ME. I have not caught the flu, but the sore
throat that HH accused of giving him the flu has now moved down
into my chest, and is suffocating me. Even my sweet, sweet Histinex
does not help. Right now, I have a washcloth coated with Vicks
VapoRub pasted onto my chest. WooHoo! I bet HH wants me to
come back to bed tonight! Oh, and for you rowdies who read
Rachy's and Rebecca's blogs, that washcloth is covering part of
my b**bies. But we don't need no discussion of that here! So
simmer down, and save your comments for the Big Blogger 2

That's about all the news fit to blog from here at the Mansion.
This afternoon, we all went out back and shot the BB guns at a
chunk of styrofoam from my Hillbilly Mama's new computer
monitor. That was the high point of the day. It's going to be a
slow summer around these parts.


Blogger deadpanann said...

We started school a week ahead of you, and are finishing a week behind. Must've been all those 1:00 days.

I hate the delta. Fortunately, the countdown has begun.

The last official school day is next Friday, but I have to come to work the following Monday-- Memorial Day. Since the kids won't be there we're spending that day barbecuing ribs outside on the leftover foundation of the old school building that the tornado took-- aka the "patio."

I might have to work that Tuesday, too. I don't know.

Sorry for comment hijacking.

Not really.

7:36 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

The washcloth is covering your babies? Is that what it's covering? Ohhh! You meant BOOBIES!!?? Riiiiight. You go into the Blogger Protection Program AND you censor the word boobies - and you think I'M weird for swatting at flying ants?

I'm telling you, the flying ants are going to take over the world. One tall, grinning beer can at a time.

My kids got home at 11:30 today and by 2:00 I was regretting not enrolling them in summer school. I will hear "MAWWWWWWM!!" in my nightmares tonight.

10:10 PM  
Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

I will be sure to get me some Echinacea to chew on then so as not to catch your flu virus..hope you get better soon Hillbilly Mom.
Hope you have a great Summer, wish it was Summer here in the land Down Under!

2:20 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hi Hillbilly Mom,
Well my blog seems to be getting closer and closer to "X" rated by the day, so I don't see why yours can't head in the same direction.
I kind of wish I was at school, so I could be on holidays right now.

4:47 AM  
Blogger LanternLight said...

I have a washcloth coated with Vicks
VapoRub pasted onto my chest.

And thought Vaporub was only available here, much like vegemite.

Hope you get better soon.

BTW, what did Mr. K. do?

7:47 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Miss Ann,
At least you are getting paid the big bucks. And you MAY even get your whole signing bonus!

Methinks you are hallucinating again, Dear Diva. And it would take more than one washcloth to completely cover my 'babies'.

My kids make my name two syllables: MO OMMMMM! Kind of makes you want to run far away, doesn't it. To the Rocky Mountains, perhaps. You KNOW you're jealous because my 'batcan' pop-top was higher than your bangs. Bwahaha!

Hope you don't catch it! Maybe I should wear a Michael Jackson mask.

Your new crew certainly loves the b**bies!

We have the VapoRub in a little blue jar. We have no vegemite. I suppose it's not so good to rub on your chest. But my Hillbilly Husband did say his dad used to tell him to swallow some VapoRub to coat his throat from the inside. Umm...I told him that was not to make him get better...

3:48 PM  
Blogger Stewed Hamm said...

See, and I always thought cellulitis was when your ass looks like cottage cheese. Who knew it was an actual illness?

3:06 AM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Indeed, who knew? Now I can tell HH his doctor has verified that he truly IS an a$$-pain.

4:40 PM  

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