Friday, July 21, 2006

Big Blogger 2 - Task 14 - Miss Bloggerverse

Now, the moment you have all been waiting for: The Final Big
Blogger Challenge. I am running for Miss Bloggerverse. Here
are my instructions, direct from Big Blogger:

Ladies and Gentlemen. After months of Cyberhouse action, it has
come down to this, the final challenge. Our finalists are Hillbilly
Mom of Hillbilly Mansion, and Cazzie of I Don't Do Mornings.
With Big Blogger 2 coming down to having two fine ladies left in
the house, there is only one option for the final challenge.

Miss Bloggerverse

There are three sections to this challenge:

The Swimsuit section.
Find a photo online of what you think is the best swimsuit to show
off your blogging persona and explain your reasons.

The Evening Wear section.
At the Big Blogger after party, what are you going to wear to make
sure everyone notices you as you walk down the red carpet.

The Blogging Section.

Tell us why you should get to wear the crown of Miss Bloggerverse,
and the old standard of World Peace is not acceptable.
This Challenge will end Saturday night. Final votes will be tallied up
and the winner of Big Blogger 2 will be announced Monday.
Good Luck.

My Swimsuit Section

I must have this swimsuit. It truly defines my hillbilly heritage.

You may recognize my long lost cousin, Jethro Bodine. I haven't
seen him in a coon's age. It seems like only yesterday we were
lying around the Cement Pond, discussing Granny's possum stew.
I love this swimsuit, because it is so versatile. Not only can I
model it on the Miss Bloggerverse runway, but I can use it to
go over Niagara Falls. I can easily store a pickle in my pocket
without somebody making a wisea$ comment about it. I can
gain or lose a few tens of pounds without worrying if my suit
will still fit. The color is easy to accessorize. And it doesn't go
up my crack.

My Evening Gown Section

My choice for the Evening Gown Competition is a bit toned down
from what some might choose. None of that glitz and glamour for
moi. I feel right at home in this classic ensemble.

It makes a particular statement,
methinks. And I can take my
trailer along to the red carpet
as my dressing room. Who
knew it was actually my home
away from the Mansion?

After the ceremonies, we can
have us a high old time in my
trailer. I hope those swanky
police dogs aren't trained in

I'm going to put a big banner on the side of it. The trailer, not
the evening gown. It will say: If this trailer's a rockin', don't
come a-knockin'. I know. I'm so original. I think I'll print up a
bunch of those for bumper stickers.

My Blogging Section

Why should I wear the crown of Miss Bloggerverse, you ask?
Elementary, my dear Watsons. I look good in crowns.

You've seen me in my
Royal Crown of Hillmomba.

You've seen me in my
Pop Top Coors Light Crown.

I ask you: Have you ever seen a pointy head better suited
crown-wearing? Methinks not!

I suppose I must answer what I would do for the Bloggerverse
if I were to win Miss Bloggerverse. Since 'World Peace'
is not an option, I must answer: Stricter penalties for parole
violators, Stan. Oh. You say that was already used in Miss
Congeniality? Hmm...great minds think alike. In that case, I'd
like to say that if crowned Miss Bloggerverse, I will do my best
to rid the world of DoNots, and people who piss me off. That's
a kind of selfish, self-serving agenda, you say? What are you
doing talking during my speech? Shut your piehole! What I am
trying to tell you is that the agenda starts with me. ME ME ME!
Was there ever any question? If Hillbilly Mom ain't happy,
nobody happy. So I will begin by cleaning up my little
world. Then we will see where it goes from there.

There you have it. My entry in the Miss Bloggerverse competition.
Voting is at Big Blogger 2. Vote early. Vote often. If you can.


Blogger LanternLight said...


Would have preferred Elly-Mae to Jethro.

I will do my best to rid the world of DoNots

"Elvis" was telling me he'd go off and vote for this very reason.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

My swimsuit has a hole in the knee right now, so it's a good thing I didn't make it this far in the competition.

I likes that royal crown....the one of Hillmomba, not the one in a bottle. (Well, I like that one, too.) Every time I see a picture of it I giggle like a little girl.

2:01 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

I couldn't find any pictures of Elly Mae, and only this one of Jethro. What gives? Surely people remember that classic show.

Elvis, you say? You certainly have connections, don't you?

I know YOU remember that show! Don't be pretendin' you are too young!

Heehee! You got expelled from the competition TWICE, you naughty girl! Good thing you were eliminated, or you might have beat me. You might still beat me. With a stick.

If you had a friend Mabel, then you could have a crown like mine. That would prove that we're actually the same person. By cracky!

5:04 PM  

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