Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I Think Mr. K is Onto My Tricks

Hillbilly Mom is not a good criminal. She leaves clues. She revisits
the crime scene. No need to call CSI for a Hillbilly Mom crime.
Hillbilly Mom might just as well leave her business card at the scene.
But that would mean Hillbilly Mom would have to have business
cards printed. Decisions, decisions...what should her cards say?
Crime perpetrated by Hillbilly Mom. Breaking the law since
Or not.

Mr. K is onto me. He came to my room to chat 1st Hour. As he
was leaving, after some inane small talk, he said over his shoulder:

You know what they say about paybacks.
No. What?
You know.
Why would you possibly need to pay me back?
You know.
You really shouldn't. I don't deserve anything.

At the teachers' lunch table, Mr. K started in again:

Somebody at this table thinks they're cute.
Wonder who that could be? Mr. G is always game to play along.
Somebody has been leaving me pictures of cats in my mailbox.
You don't like cats?
You know what I'm talking about.
I thought you liked cats. A lot.
I said that to 'Mum' today, 'Somebody told me you like cats, Mum.'
I watched Bewitched the other night. It's pretty good. (Mr. S is
sometimes not on task.)
Well, you knew that would be good, because it had Nicole Kidman.
I think she had the botox. No facial expression. Or maybe you find
that appealing.
The Interpreter wasn't very good. Too boring.
She was good in Cold Mountain.
I loved Cold Mountain.
You say you watched Brokeback Mountain?
No. That's the movie you took 'Mum' to see.
And he sat on your lap and fed you popcorn.
I can just picture that.
YOU need to go check the girls' bathroom!
Why? Did someone go in there?
No. But there might be two girls comforting each other.
Huh? What are you talking about? (Mr. S2 joined us late.)
Isn't that what YOU do during a panic attack? Sit on the toilet?
Yeah! With a guy between my legs!
Isn't that what you use 'Mum' for, K? To comfort you?

Thank the Gummi Mary the bell rang.

I guess you'll be going to the library now.
Library? I haven't been to the library all year!
Well, somebody has been looking up cats on the internet.
I wonder who?

Heh, heh. He'll never catch me that way. I looked them up at home.


Blogger LanternLight said...

Somebody at this table thinks they're cute.

Now if he said OH SO PRETTY, you would have had to own up, wouldn't ya :-)

So of dogs for a moment, how are those two bear cubs btw? (Fitty & Grizzly??)

5:34 AM  
Blogger Redneck Diva said...

Even though I have no desire to be a teacher, the camaraderie between y'all is making me all misty-eyed!

I literally have sat here at my computer laughing out loud while reading that conversation.

Brokeback Mountain, indeed. Brokeback Bathroom Stall is more like it.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hi Hillbilly Mom,
If he askes again, tell Mr K it is not your work, but in fact, the work of a COPY CAT.
Oh, oh, I am so so funny this time of the morning. That is pure gold. Go home everyone else, you can't beat that one. lol

2:46 PM  
Blogger Hillbilly Mom said...

Of course. Everybody knows Hillbilly Mom sure ain't cute--she's OH SO PRETTY!

Here now! Quit naming my animals! Grizzly is the old dog who had his (HH's) new pillow chewed up by those bear pups. The girly girl is named "Little Ann" and the boy is named "Cubby". I am quite frustrated with them. That is going to be a whole post, once I get some pictures of them.

We have good chemistry. Me and the boys. I swear, sometimes they are like little children, learning at my knee. I don't know how many times I've had to tell them: "You got a little somethin' right there by your mouth." OH, the times Mr. K has dripped some sauce on his shirt! And I'd like to tell one of them to close his mouth when he chews, but I think that would be overstepping my bounds. I have grown quite fond of them. They don't irritate me nearly as much as the gals I used to have lunch with. AND I get more attention. So more of the conversation is ALL ABOUT ME.

Heh, heh. You should be a comedian. Oops! You are! I will gladly take credit for that joke, and use it tomorrow.

5:24 PM  

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